I was tired of broken promises! - Marie

Hello all - Just to let you know some of the facts of this story are blurred - like so many other entries on this site, I noticed the names of even close friends are just gone from my memory, along with some of my time line.

I came from a Scientology family, My Grandmother was in the SO, my Dad and Mom were on staff, my aunt, my brother, etc... All left at some point (before or after me). As a child I hadnt had anything other then a comm course - my parents were poor.

I didn't think about joining... When I was in LA to escape my mother (she was crazy, or maybe I was just 18 ). While I was in LA my mom died, my dad - who was visiting at the time - took me to the org for a session, it was the best thing he could think of to help.

I joined LA org, did ok - though was very upset the 1st week when I took home about $46, after quitting a job and being promised that we would make enough to makeup for the income, I was not explained whatever system they figured out pay by. I lucked out joining an affluent org, I heard horror stories later.

I was a fast study, and no life experience, my parents kept us out of trouble and we did not get into trouble. I was easily HCO Qualled.

Seeing this I was sent to ITO to do the OEC FEBC after being on staff for about 6 months. During that 6 months I didn't get much study time - (always a stat that had to be pushed, or a hill 10) - however did finish the purif and have time to get some student auditing, which put me out int and made me a troubled PC... I was told that this would make me able to get the better posts, get me in a position to get up the bridge, etc. - I wasn't making any process the way I was going.

So I was excited to be able to learn so much in a short time, and went off to ITO, which was on the other side of the big blue building (at least in the 80's). I finished the Student hat, just under checksheet time and another small course, also under checksheet time, started the OEC, finished the OEC was on the FEBC and somewhere during this I was recruited for the SO.

I was high from my wins on training (not my auditing, which was suppossed to be handled by the org during my training - I got in session however not regularly and didnt seem to be going anywhere - after red tagging 30 or 40 times, they got me stable and left me alone so I wouldnt be a downstat for the HGC).

I joined the SO, and continued at LA Org, and was to do my EPF upon my completion of the FEBC - I was 5 months into training doing well - I was on the last 3 checksheet items. Then someone decided I was a commodity to be traded. I ended up being brought back to the CO's, and told that I was going to be taken off training to start my EPF because I was being transferred to some other org, greatest good, greatest number of dynamics, etc.

I was unhappy about this, but didn't complain too much because I was told as soon as I completed the EPF I could finish the FEBC... So I was gullible, and thought that these people would not lie, what would be their purpose to mess up my progress...

Went thru the EPF in record time (under 2 weeks, if I remember correctly), as I said I was/am a very quick study. When I completed I was told I had been traded again, I was going to the mkting org, didnt get hatted well, didnt really get told what I was suppossed to do, then was told that I would be going to the Gold ofc - to do recruiting, didn't get back to training or auditing, but went to post, no training time again... I was not doing well, was making waves because I was trying to follow policy, thought people should make an informed decision when joining the SO - boy did I get booted to another org fast. Well actually traded up, ended up in the msn unit doing msn coverage (I liked that - got paid - did the jobs I was put into and was on full time training when I wasn't).

I got in trouble, my fault, sent to epf again, but was immediatly pulled to do msn expediting on one mission, then a second, again no training, still out int, no ethics handling, etc.

Then, was traded to ASHO, to do a div 7 post, was left in HCO, finally ended up as a div head in another div... Was getting in session, because they wanted to finish my quals - but no training.

Then one of my juniors was very ill, I brought her food, tried to make her post as easy as possible (she was obviously ill, but did not really try to get medical help - I thought this wrong, but my 2 times going to the medical officer I could understand).

She basically was off post for a couple of months - and when she came back she was looking like death (I am sure she did not last long after that). I talked to her and she had been in the SO for years and did not have family or friends to take care of her, she was alone - even in the SO... I didn't want to end up like that, and could see it happening in the future.

So I tried to go on, did well on post, I went suicidal - did not report it, because I did not want to end up in some weird place with the org.

I decided that I would save up and blow, the same day I sold about 4 grand in books (someone called my extension - told me that they wanted to use their account money to buy books, and didnt want to give the commission to a reg). So I took the order - the 1st commision I had ever recieved, funny thing I would have not left without this, I would have talked myself out of it...LOL

Well, they decided to give out the commission early because they were trying to boost morale and gave me a well done ( I had gotten top staff member for 2 out of the last 4 weeks, so I was an upstat and was a good example).

Anyway, I packed my stuff, walked to the bus station in the middle of the night and was on a bus back to detroit.

I went back and routed out correctly.

Funny thing, I would have stuck it out (you know, your word is your honor) but I got tired of being lied to, not getting training, not getting my auditing, being shuffled around, starting courses not being allowed to finish, starting auditing not being completed, basically I was treated well when it served the purpose of the person in front of me.

Well, I believed, but the actions told me that either the tech was being ignored or just did not work.

I wrote KR's that were sent to every terminal that I could think of, but did not get any resolution or answers, that is when I realized it probably didnt work or someone along the line would have done something - I was obviously of no value to this group and didn't want to be part of that anymore.

I have never done any negative actions against this group (til now - but this is only truth - as I see it and remember it - its been at least 17 years)

And though I know some scientologists still, it won't make a difference now, no matter who is watching.

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