Through the Door - BeenThere

Sunday, 4th June, 2006 07:50:32am

Name or Alias: BeenThere
Training and/or processing level: N/A
Org or location: N/A
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 30 years+
Recommended Website - ESMB

1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?

via family

2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?

Being part of a group that seemed to provide a way to help the world. Feeling safe and special and accepted as I'd always been a loner.

3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?

Not really. I was a teenager and it all seemed pretty exciting at the time. Once in the door I was trapped by the subtle brainwashing of achieving 'personal freedom'.

4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn't seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?

There are simply too many to write about. I have read lots of stories of ex members who had similar experiences and it's pretty heartbreaking, but thankyou people for writing them, I know they are true. I saw financial mismanagement, abuse, lies, appalling staff conditions, GO tricks, babysitting with psych drugs, injustice and the list goes on. At this point I have been out for over 15 years but still have family involved so I can't be specific. Believe me, I saw it all.

5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?

I left quite a few times but was always convinced that the solution to all my problems lay in my getting 'fixed'. My whole family was involved as well, which made leaving harder. Thankfully that is changing.

6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to 'help out'?


7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a "final straw"?

Yes but I can't be specific at this time.

8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?

There is no soul, no humanity on an individual basis. Staff and public alike are treated like sheep and idiot ones at that by DM. The whole organisational structure is rotten to the core, which is a shame as there are many good hearted and willing people trying to do some good. It's just the wrong place. You are not allowed to be an individual - the individual is a threat and pigeon-holed into 'you are PTS' or whatever to stop anyone looking out of the box.

9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?


10. Any additional comments you would like to make?

There were many years of heartbreak and so often I asked myself - as many others have done - how an intelligent and aware person could be so fooled into another version of reality. I hate injustice and I fought it often so it's a wonder I am still standing. I do believe the very basic tech has some value, I do believe that most people join in an attempt to better themselves and their lives, and I do believe that such good intentions are jumped on by the SPs at the top in an arrogant and criminal manner.

Once you are part of the machine, it takes great courage to leave and only those who have done it can understand. I nearly died (literally)trying to 'make it go right' and it took that extreme for me be forced to REALLY look at what was happening in my life and my family's life and walk away forever. It took a few years but I found that life out here is good. There are people who care about you as a person, who help, who support without thinking about stats or $$s. Life is what we make it, and the bottom line is that the awareness and freedom Scientology offers is an illusion - because it really comes from within ourself after all, and happiness IS an attainable state for anyone who really tries to find it within.

I spent so many years thinking I was a failure, because of the opinion of others within the church. Not true, and I have saved more lives out here with simple caring than I ever did on staff. Why did I hand over my self esteem that way? Don't know, except perhaps the carrot of 'finding out the truth' (what a joke) was such a big one that the small outpoints at first that were easy to ignore became so huge they were unconfrontable as then you have to admit you were fooled and start your life again. God bless those who do. Don't lose hope in the goodness of man, it is there. But you gotta find it in yourself first and not look to an organisation for answers. Especially one that spends hundreds of thousands on events and practices that are bullshit covers for extortion when it could do some social good instead.

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