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Moira Hutchison - My life in Scientology PDF Print E-mail
Part II
February 5, 1997

I feel that I have started a flood of emotions and feelings that I was not aware of prior to writing my "Testimonial" about my life in Scientology.

I mentioned in my last writing that my belief system had changed very much. This has made me reflect even deeper than before and investigate the true extent of where I am at now.

I have previously discussed in general terms what the extent of my "ethics handlings" were. I am now going to try and go deeper into this, you will have to bear with me on this, it is still a pretty emotional area for me.

I have already explained to you all that I was very young when I went through this. This resulted in my acceptance of a lot of things that went on without questioning them. However, in climbing back into the real world it allows me to look back on my own experiences and those witnessed.

I was appointed to be the Executive Director in Edinburgh upon my return from LA. One month into this appointment, an officer was sent from the Sea Org in East Grinstead. His brief was to find out what suppressive act I was doing that inhibited the making a high level of GI (Gross Income) and having a lot of services being delivered. I was expected to be selling and delivering Scn levels to clients who did not even know what Dianetics were. Not only that, I did not have any staff members qualified to deliver these levels.

I need to digress here and tell you the reason I knew what the brief this officer was sent to Edinburgh with. Some time later, I was at the SO in East Grinstead and the officer in question was being sent to the RPF. He asked to talk to me privately before he left and he informed me of the above. He told me that he felt I was unfairly targeted with some heavy ethics handling.

Anyways, back to my story! It was awful, words can't totally explain what I felt. I was shut in a room with this officer for up to four hours at a time. I was constantly asked with various slants on the question, what CI (counter intention) I had to "clearing the planet", LRH, SCN, and Dianetics. This interrogation left me feeling like I was sitting on the edge of a huge black abyss. I got to the point that I would say anything to avoid being pushed any further.

The result of this interrogation was that I was sent to the SO. This was supposedly for one day, I returned to Edinburgh seven days later. Upon my arrival in the org, I was accused of blowing my ethics handling. This was because the Commanding Officer had not approved my leaving the SO. Rather, it was the Ethics Officer that said I was finished and "let's get me back home to kick some butt!!"

This leads me to another digression!! Wherever I was in the Cof S, I made friends and allies, people who really saw and understood who I was. A decent caring individual that believed in what I was doing - helping people with their "cases". The Ethics Officer was very kind to me and I got the impression he did not feel that I should even be there.

This first trip to my quasi-RPF program, I previously said that I had gone for a one day stay that turned into seven. You can imagine how degraded and dirty I felt. If you are going away for a day, you'd take your shampoo, toothbrush and change of underwear... Right!?! Because I did not understand what this program entailed, I had worn a skirt and heels. I had to spend 5-6 hours a day writing up my transgressions, the rest of my time I was on kitchen and cleaning duty. I was heckled and ordered about by other officers - "eyes to the ground", "run don't walk". Once I was instructed to clean all of the windows inside and out. An officer started to laugh to her colleagues and said "look she is even out-tech when she cleans windows!" LRH even had a policy on how to clean windows!!!

While on this program, I was not allowed to eat at the same time as anyone else, I had to eat any leftovers after mealtimes.

Anyways, back in Edinburgh! I was "permitted" to stay there but I was demoted to being the deputy ED. Something that I and the people who worked with me felt was a gross injustice. We all sent telexes to the higher levels of Scn Management. I did strongly feel that they never got sent out because every transmission had to be vetted by the SO in the UK before they went anywhere.

Things muddled on for a while. I mentioned in my previous article that the Commanding Officer was busted for improper sexual acts. This heralded the appointment of a "garrison mission" from the States. I can truly say that this woman was a power crazy person who did not care who she stood on to look good in the eyes of her own higher ups. In my first conversation with her, I was told that I was the woman that had been sent to LA for the best level of admin training only to return home and "crash the org".

I went to Saint Hill (in East Grinstead) for some sort of new LRH release. I had driven down with some clients and we were intending to share the driving and return to Edinburgh that night. This new Commanding Officer wanted to talk to me. The result? I was ordered to stay for four days on my second quasi-RPF program. Again, totally unprepared to be away from home.

There was another instance where an officer was sent to Edinburgh to investigate me. (This was actually before the one I just mentioned). I was interrogated about my family life - i.e. my life outside the church. This officer felt that it was putting undue pressure on me. The result being that I could not give my whole being the C of S. This is really where I started feeling like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. You see, I had not seen my father and sisters for nine months; my father was angry and did not understand what was taking me away from them. I love my father dearly and I wanted to try and make up for the fact that I had basically disappeared from his life. When I told the officer this, I was told that I had to go and have supper with my family and then cut ties with them because I was obviously a PTS (Potential Trouble Source) and my father was Suppressive to Scn.

You know what the most horrible thing is? I did it. I still had that much blind trust in Scn. I am very proud to be able to say that I now have a very deep and special relationship with my father. He trusted in who I am and waited for me to be part of his life again.

I told you that the "ethics handling" programs I did were only quasi-RPF. In the UK people were sent somewhere to do the RPF program. I have also previously told you that I carried out kitchen duties whilst in LA. This allowed me to see the RPFers there. They would come in to eat after everyone else had left. I found this deeply disturbing. Everyone was dressed in dark blue overalls, they did not walk, they shuffled with their heads always bowed down low, and no-one would utter a word.

I became pretty close with an officer in the ASHO whose husband was on the RPF. I remember her telling me, very excitedly, that she was to be allowed to share her half hour meal breaks with her husband. When she told me this, she had not seen him for a year.
Scary stuff eh!?! In my opinion, the reason this carries on is, obviously fear based; but I feel that the hierarchy of Scn is dominated by people who have never experienced life outside of the church. This is a very dangerous concept particularly when there is so much power bestowed upon these people.

Reviewing all of this makes me feel honoured to have been brought up as a Quaker. Quakerism accepts all types of religion at face value and does not try to convert anyone. I can not say that I now belong to any set faith or religion. I like to think that I have become eclectic. I am open to truth in any form, it just can not walk over people's freedoms and rights.

In closing, I would like to reiterate my sentiment about helping anyone coming to terms with coming out of the CofS or having problems with having come out..... Contact me.

Moira Hutchison


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