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Saturday, 22 December 2012
A process of healing... Lovesnightsky PDF Print E-mail

I was on staff at Plymouth Org in Devon UK and also brought two of my relatives into staff with me [edit: these were my two children, a boy and a girl in their teens]. Unlike most people on staff, I had been a member of another cult and had studied religions and philosophy before going into Scientology [edit: I was a member of a buddhist school that turned into a cult while I was in it, at which point I left.] and my main aim was to find out how it worked and hoped against hope that this group was for real.

When I went into the org, I found that the people there were good souls trying their best to do their best for the world and this was endearing. Because of my high stats [edit: the “ruin” questionnaire did not find a ruin in my case, it was practically a horizontal line on top of the graph], I immediately joined the TTC and began training as an auditor.

I was a natural and quickly moved through the different levels.

One day, when I was reading a novel and then started counting the pages I just read, I realized I had gone too far and had to leave [edit: part of a students statistics is to measured by the amount of pages they had read that day while studying. As such, after reading any material, the pages are counted and written down, to be added up at the end of the day].

I did try to route out [this is a process where the person is taken through various steps to let them leave staff, including security checks], because of my relatives, which was a disaster. I was sent to SH and obviously they wouldn’t let me route out until I did the course which was the flavour of the day (the ones which everyone had been order to sell, no matter what the PC needed).

I signed in my course start papers, was sent to do the usual Sec Checks which of course I always passed with flying colours and then was interviewed by several high ranking officials. This last step was rather unusual as it came as a direct result of the fact that I have very high political connections in the real world [my father was the presidential adviser to the president of Chile at the time as well as a high ranking official in the ministry of education in Chile and a very close personal friend and adviser to the president of Peru at the time]. Who would bother with someone with no connections right?

After this fiasco, I walked out of SH and took the train home.

I know that Dorothy West (OTVIII) did take over Plymouth org for a while when I left, and, this is second hand data, as a direct result of my leaving both the ED and C/S were taken off their posts and sent back to SH for rehabilitation. Dorothy is the nicest and best person I know. She is also very gifted. As far as I know she is not working there anymore due to health problems.

I was not declared, nor did I care if I was actually.

But here is the main part of my story and what really hurts. Even though I went in knowing that groups are not perfect and even though while listening to LRH’s tapes I couldn’t stop laughing at the joke of it all (the way he continuously made underhanded references to where he got his data and had his little secret jokes – brilliant), I did want this group to be real.

When I realised it was just a money making machine that used psychology, and needs and wants of people to make money, it was a real blow. The way that staff would bully others who were “below” them was horrible. The way in which people were invalidated, made wrong, just because something was not real to them or they didn't have the money for yet another class or process, was not acceptable.

They did try to get me back for several months, years even. Told me that my case had been mishandled and that I would be “fixed” if I went back.

As a result I don’t trust any group or company. If anyone offers me anything I am continuously waiting for the price tag to be given or for their nasty or needy side to come out, which of course does.

Studies do show that people do need groups where they feel they belong to, to be happy. I tried to delude myself that this group could be it, but it was no good. It does hurt to this day and I have been unable to join any other group. I did get married and had a baby, which was one of the goals they tried to talk me out of, but as far as groups go, I trust no one.


Senior C/S (Martin) 18th December 2004
________________
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

Re: My leaving St Hill

I left St Hill on the 16th Dec 2004 because I felt it wasn't doing any good me staying. I was routed onto a course to make up stats [edit: Statistics are very important to staff members. Each staff member has certain things that count as statistics and they will do just about anything to keep their high, otherwise they are in big trouble with the church] in the morning and was waiting for more than 3 hours for the MAA [this is the person who deals with ethic matters in the church, in other words, anyone who does not agree with something that the church says or wants them to do] in the afternoon, she didn't see me, but it did give me time to reflect. I only had £10 left and 3 days to stay at Bullards [edit: this is a house close to Saint Hill where staff members can stay], the course and routing form take a lot longer than that.

Two things you said stuck out in my mind, one is that if I have attracted situations which pull me off staff from Plymouth Org then there is something going on that is fishy, could be MUs, out ethics, out tech, overts. I don't know and I won't try to list [edit: listing means that the person is making a list of possible things, people or events that might have caused an upset in their lives. This is a big no-no in scientology as it is only meant to be done with an auditor and an e-meter so that the person doesn’t go on a mental spin].

The other is that when you asked me if I was happy as a staff member I thought I was [edit: I was not happy as a staff member, but lied here to keep the peace], but when I went for a walk around St Hill I saw keyed out [edit: keyed out means they are happy] happy staff members doing their jobs and getting on without fear, tiredness or sickness... something [bad indicators] which I observe every day at Plymouth Org [edit: this was actually true during the first half of the day, but I think it might have been a Thursday at the time because come near 4pm I saw staff turning into real monsters as they tried to get their stats up. I saw a teenage girl abusing and insulting a middle aged man at the front desk for leaving sacks of mail there that had to leave SH before 4 or the letter could not be counted toward that week’s stats]. These are my personal observations, true for me and could be stained by an out ethics situation or overts.

Dick and Susie [edit: Dick was the Executive Director of Plymouth Org and Susie was his wife and also the Senior Case Supervisor who is a person that decides what people have to receive auditing on and also checks the auditing files to make sure no mistakes had been made] are regularly having temper fits at staff. Last week some staff were late Dick blew up at the ones there in time, the ones that were not late, wrong target. He also blew up at a public called Ralph Angel, he left and never came back (I was told it must be overts [negative actions] by Ralph on Dick), these are just two examples. Susie will snipe at staff and make condescending comments even about public within their earshot. Helen Goddard is always sick or over tired, but very keyed out about training to be an auditor so it doesn't stop her in the least. Mark Goddard soldiers on with a smile even though only sees his kids 15 mins a day if he's lucky (overheard Helen saying this several times). Tony Harris is counting his days on staff and feels the only reason he is not attacked is because he has a personal comm line with Dick and the only reason he stays is because he is a man of his word and he signed a contract, not because he is keyed out working there.

Vicky [edit: second in command] and Xxxxxx [edit: my son] seem happy most of the time, working away and look keyed out, Vicky does get regular back problems though. Viv I don't have much interaction with, but I have seen both Dick and Susie shout at her over things and my obnosis [edit: obnosis = “observation of the obvious”] would be of her in a tone of fear. Mark Jeffreys is hardly ever there, when he is he is placed on supervising the academy and he makes it known he is unhappy doing that.

Tony, Dick, Vicky, Sandra, Greg, Helen and Mark (Goddard), and Martin are continuously getting sick. Greg would be moodie and entheta [edit: negative] in the course room even when supervising (when he supervises the academy only as when he supervises the Div Six course room he keeps his TRs [edit: keeps up a positive demeanor]). David [edit: David Hutt] is a brilliant auditor, but he gets epileptic fits during sessions.
There are days however that are happy and relaxed, people laughing and joking and getting on with things, problem is one never knows which one is ahead.

An Org should be a theta [edit: positive] place, somewhere fun and happy to work, somewhere one feels safe and a joy to be in. That's not the experience I have had, nor Xxxxxx xxxx(my daughter), Tony Harris or Steve Terry, I don't know about the others. I suppose I would accept entheta in a wog [edit: non scientologist] workplace as normal, but an org is not a wog place. It hasn't been a joy for me to work there and the only reason I have lasted so long in good spirits is that I wanted to be an auditor very badly and have a good chunk of theta [edit: immortal life-source] naturally.

I don't think the staff is SP in any way, none of them are. I do think there is out tech, out ethics [edit: doing negative things] and ptsness [edit; under the influence of an SP and thus a Potential Trouble Source], a lot of it, that has not been handled, no matter what the excecs say, it has not been handled in the least. For the staff to try and handle it is impossible. Handlings on a few of the staff and meter checks have been done but to no avail. For proof that this is happening in Plymouth just look at the Ethics files there [edit: these are the files from interviews by the scientology “police”].

Orders from above are conveyed with anything but joy.

Dick told me I had him as my target, well, he is supposed to be our leader so he is responsible for the group so I suppose he is right. If he can't handle 22 staff with a cool head and clear and leadership then how is he going to handle 100? 200? He needs cramming and a lot of auditing, he deserves it. Maybe with the right handling he could pull this org out of the crap, his heart is in the right place. For an OTVII OES get Vicky audited, she's good at her job.

All I know is that I respect the vision and work being done by Plymouth Org, my son is very happy there and I will try to do my best to make it so that he is financially secure while he is on staff and until he can earn enough as staff to take care of himself. But I don't want to return there, I feel disillusioned and no longer share the will to spend my time in this group although I do love them and hope they reach their goals and beyond. Maybe my previous life leaving scientology has been restimulated [edit: acting out an event that happened before. During session it came to light that I had in fact been a pioneer scientologist up to the first half of the 1960s and had then left as I had a very big disagreement about the way the group was going and they way in which all our work was being plagiarized by Hubbard and true and real people with amazing abilities were being excluded from the group. I took this to be a reaction of fear from Hubbard as these people did not fit into his plan of total domination], I don't know and won't try to look.

I am going to stay with a friend in London for a couple of weeks, then decide what to do. I believe in Scholastics and The Way to Happiness and I will work to implement them in South America with or without help [edit: I had no plans of doing this but thought it would keep them off my back].

ML,
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

[edit: When this letter was received at Saint Hill, people from the Plymouth Org went into my house, were let in by my son, and went through all my personal possessions, including my clothes, computer, files, books, letters, photos etc.. Their excuse was that they were looking for my friend’s address in London. I did not have a friend in London. I had left the country. The invasion of privacy made me feel violated.]

Dear xxxxxxx,
There are major changes taking place in Plymouth Org and we are reviewing, previous situations.

It would really be a great help if you could give us the information You have on how your cycle was 'handled'.

Dick is not there any more and 2 Sea Org missionaires are currently in The org putting things straight.

They had the opportunity to go and see xxxxx this morning to get her data. They gave me to understand that they absolutely do need yours on the basis that they can't find everything in the existing files.

Please do get in comm.

I have very fond memories of you and your abilities as a technical Terminal and your great affinity and high level of application of the tech. I particularly remember iworking with you in the academy and having fun!

Much love Dorothy


Dorothy West 25th May 2005
----------------
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

Re: Observations on Ply Org
During my time as a staff member at Plymouth Org, I observed various things which made me feel disillusioned with Scientology and the 3D dynamics in Plymouth Org.
Dick Jones.
I don’t remember seeing Dick without health problems, he was always having assists and would often have a cold.

He would have temper fits most days against staff. The first time I saw his temper fit was a few days after my daughter Xxxxxx joined staff. It was a Sunday and we went in to do renovation work in the morning. As we walked into the Org, there was no one on the ground floor, Xxxxxx shouted “hello!” downstairs, Dick answered and started coming up the stairs, Xxxxxx told him there was no one on the ground floor when we arrived, he blew up at shouting and screaming about how he was away only a few minutes and nothing could happen and all sorts of other things.

We were both shocked at his outburst. Unfamiliar with how to write Ethics Reports, we did nothing about it, but at the time I felt Dick was just like any other Wog.
Another incident was when a public called Ralph Angel, who I was co-auditing with, had an emotional scene with regard my leaving to train at St Hill, Dick shouted and screamed at him in the Film Room, this was just before I went to train at St Hill in January 2004. I heard the shouts and screams as I was walking back to the Academy from going to the toilet, I could not make out what Dick was saying. After this the Ralph Angel blew the course. At the time I felt this was very inappropriate because Ralph was obviously keyed-in to a lot of charge due to whatever my leaving had brought up in his case and this “handling” by Dick was not right. I wrote the incident up but then heard Susie commenting in the reception area that Ralph had obviously done a lot of overts on Dick or he wouldn’t have blown the course blaming Dick. She directed me to “Leaving and Leaves”, but even after reading it, it didn’t feel right, I still felt Ralph had been badly handled while in a very keyed-in state.

Another incident that comes to mind was at a Staff Meeting, Dick came in, threw all his notes and papers violently on the floor and started screaming and shouting at the staff. He then asked that if anyone wanted to be out of the group to stand up and leave straight away. He then asked a Div 6 staff (can’t remember his name) whether he wanted to leave, the staff member said yes, so Dick told him to go. The staff member got up and left the room, went into the front room, Dick shouted what he was doing there, and he said he was finishing something or other, Dick told him to forget it and just leave. Then he asked Steve Terry whether he wanted to leave, Steve said no.

I felt this was really very bad, I eventually wrote it up and sent it to St Hill.
A week before I left staff on December 18th 2004, Dick again blew up at the staff on the morning meeting, this time because people were coming in late, the target however was wrong as he went for the staff who where there, the ones who where on time.

Dick also blew up at my face a few times, the ones that stand out in my mind are once when I wrote a CSW several days before the day in question for being half an hour late to the Purification Program (which I was receiving), Susie never received the CSW from the Tech Sec, and when I arrived late she screamed and shouted and called me every name under the sun, then wrote a KR.

I didn’t respond in like manner as I wanted to get going to the Purif, but I did write it up in my Purif report that day, as her behaviour had really upset me as I don’t like being shouted at..

Later on I was called to see Dick in the small room by the film room downstairs. He said “What the fuck do you think you are, making snide remarks about my Senior C/S!!! You fucking Barbie Doll, come in here all high and mighty…..” he went on from there with more insults, then shouted how Susie was not wrong in getting upset. I told him I didn’t think, nor said, that Susie was wrong at any time, because she wasn’t, she was upset that she did not receive the CSW and did not know where I was, what she had done wrong was her handling, shouting and insulting me before a Purif session. I told him if she shouted at me again I would retaliate, that shouting was not the right way to address me as I did not respond well to it. Plus I had not slandered or spoken a word against Susie to anyone but my auditor in the Purif report form, I had followed proper procedure.

Again, after this incident, I felt he was just another wog and nothing better could be expected of him. Another time he blew up at me was when I told him I was leaving staff. I wrote it all up and sent it to St Hill.

During an interview with Dick and Vicky, Dick commented that something I said was a “generalisation” I felt he was implying I was a suppressive person.
When I wrote these incidents up when I left, Dick told me I had him as his target. Well, he was supposed to be our leader so he was responsible for the group, so I suppose he was right. I don’t think Dick is a suppressive person, I do think he needs a lot of auditing and LOTS of O/W handling.

Susie Jones
I saw Susie making snipe remarks at Staff and make condescending comments about public in their earshot.
I once heard her in the Office downstairs shouting criticisms about a public (man, blond, blue eyed, singer/songwriter, can’t remember his name) while he was on the phone line.

I also heard her shout at Viv (HAS) in the Office one afternoon, I walked out again.
During my first few months as staff I heard her discussing PC cases in public in the Office, reception area and the upstairs eating area, but after talking to her about it I never heard her discuss cases in public again.

Once at a public event, Steve Terry’s wife arrived with some really nice food, Susie said the woman was “Making Amends” (quietly). I felt this was very wrong.
I also saw her moving at least one staff around posts to fit the stats, xxxxx was moved from post to post by her until he eventually left staff.

After the one incident where she shouted at me before the Purif session, I never had any abuse from her again. She treated me respectfully and professionally.
Technically speaking I felt she was very good.

I did hear from my daughter, she told me Susie often shouted at her when there was no one around, that she made degrading jokes about her and blamed her for lots of things that went wrong in the org, I told Xxxxxx to write it all up, which she told me she did and at least the degrading jokes stopped.

After I started my leaving routing form Susie was upset with me, but she kept it to simply not talking to me anymore, just greeting and goodbyes.
I felt Susie did have a lot of wog traits but she would stop doing wrong once she was brought up about it. She was very passionate about the Tech, something I respect and admire.

Vicky
For as long as I was on staff, Vicky has had health problems which have not been addressed. Apart from that, she looks happy and keyed-out on staff.
I have observed her being professional and respectful in her dealings with staff and public. She shouted at me once, but then promptly apologised.

Viv
To me Viv looked afraid for most of my stay as staff. Nervous and afraid. For the past few months she seemed to become hardened and snippy. She made a couple of condescending comments to me in the reception area when I was on my staff leaving routing form, but apart from that she normally does everything Dick and Susie tell her to do.

Mark Goddard
Mark was overworked and always sick, I don’t remember ever seeing him without a cold or backache.
He is a very good auditor and Academy supervisor.

Greg Boyce
Greg had a few temper outbursts in the academy while I was there. He was not advancing in his courses very much and was being used to supervise both Div 6 and the Academy students. He was always asthmatic, had colds or accidents. His coat was always dirty and nails uncut. I found him having cigarette breaks downstairs lots of times while he was supervising, leaving the academy without a supervisor.
He was friendly and his dealings with the Div 6 students was outstanding, really impressive.

Dave
Dave is a good auditor, in three session with me he had epileptic fits, after I told him where we were at, he carried on with the session and it didn’t seem to have a negative effect. He is very respectful and friendly with public and staff.

PES
Hard working and effective. I have observed her being friendly and outgoing in her dealings with staff and public.

Tony Harris
My observations of Tony are coloured by the fact that we went out as a couple. Technically speaking, he is a good Purif I/C. He is always getting sick, he has learning difficulties which were never addressed and his Method 1 was never finished. He has a drinking problem which also had not been addressed while I was there, even though I wrote it up and he did also.
Tony counts the days he has left on staff (literally) and he was not happy there at all. He told me the only reason he stays is because he signed a contract and he is a man of his word.

Helen Goddard
Again, Helen is another person I never saw healthy, she always had colds, accidents, headaches or other health problems. She was overworked and looked sickly and tired (pale, black rings under her eyes, unhappy face).
She was very keyed out about being an auditor and very unhappy about being sent away from her children to study at St Hill. Also very unhappy when her husband was sent away to the USA.
She was becoming a very good auditor while I was there, and while training she looked keyed out and happy. She was respectful and friendly to staff and public.

Steve Terry
I didn’t see Steve much as we had different time tables. When I saw him, he was friendly and respectful to staff and public.

Xxxxxx Xxxxxx
As he is my son, my observations will be coloured. Xxxxxx had fantastic gains as a staff member, he is happy and keyed-out.
While on holiday he went off the rails a bit, as he was keyed in to his old life in Madrid. Eventually, and after much effort and money, I got him back to Plymouth Org.
Due to comments made by Dick (that I had tried to pull Xxxxxx off staff) I can only assume Xxxxxx lied about why he did not return to Plymouth after his holiday.
I did tell Xxxxxx he could come and live with me, but only because he said he did not want to go back to Plymouth as Dick would fire him.

I told him we would go back just to get our stuff and then leave, my plan was to take him to the Org once we arrived there, or have Viv come over to the house.
When he refused to take the plane in Madrid, I had my nephew find him in the streets and put him in the next plane to Bristol, then I sent word to Tony and Viv to arrange for someone in the org to pick him up from the airport. If my intention was to take him off staff, I would not have let anyone know he was on his way, nor had bought him 3 return tickets to Plymouth.

If it wasn’t for me, he would not be back on staff and I was upset when I was given a Non- enturbulation order for trying to take him off staff. If I had wanted to take him off staff I would simply gotten my nephew in Madrid put him on a plane to the USA, not gone to all the trouble to make sure he got to Plymouth.
When I received that note, I knew I wasn’t coming back to Plymouth Org. My efforts to get Xxxxxx back there were completely invalidated. I then knew nothing had changed so there was no point in returning. My only consolation was that Xxxxxx was back on staff, and would soon be back to his real self, happy and productive.
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

Xxxxxx is my daughter, so my observations will also be coloured. She was unhappy as a staff member.
She tried to route out, this was mishandled and she didn’t return.
I am sorry that she doesn’t want anything more to do with Scientology, things happened to her at the org which affected her deeply. She is a very high achiever, friendly and intelligent girl, so her reaction to the Org is completely out of character and must have something to do with her experiences there.

Myself
While on staff I had very good stats and had some great gains. I did attract situations which pulled me off staff from Plymouth Org, so there must be something fishy there, but I have not, nor will, try to list. I was on the staff leaving routing form for quite a while before I left.



 
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