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Saturday, 22 December 2012
A process of healing... Lovesnightsky PDF Print E-mail
My original intention was to go to XXXx and get Scientology into the social structure using my family’s political and social power. I am no longer following that path at full steam, although if I get the opportunity, I will get Scholastics to go in there.
As a matter of interest, I have not shared my views or observations with anyone outside the proper lines.

As to my behaviour, I have no idea if it was any better or worse than the ones described above, I hope it was better, but you would have to ask the other staff members about it.

It might seem contradictory that I have no intentions of going back to Plymouth Org, but at the same time did everything in my power to get Xxxxxx back there.
This is because I believe that 3D groups are particularly good for certain people, a certain need is met within the 3D dynamic which lets them advance and prosper. Xxxxxx is one of these people and the Org is the perfect place for him.

When I say I see someone as a wog I don’t mean it as an insult but simply as something which explains their human, irrational or animalistic behaviour, something that can be remedied with auditing. Still, it is not something which I expected to find at a Scientology Church.

I cannot tell you why I am so upset about my experiences there, the only thing I can say is that I felt heartbroken and disillusioned, I expected the Church to be better than the wog world, much, much better, and it seemed more like opening a can of worms. The only thing that kept me on staff so long was the fact that I was auding Frances and was not going to leave a PC without an auditor, specially seeing as she was making great gains with me.
This is true.
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

Dear XXXX,
Hello how are you doing?
I am now the OES and one of my hats is to collect
 money owed to the org. 
I have not had much to do with your cycle since you
 went off auditing lines,  so basically I wanted to get in comm and find out
 what your plans are with regard to your Freeloader bill and future bridge?
It seems that you are settled over there and planning to stay there so why
 not pay off your debt so that we can release your folders and you can get
 on lines at your nearest org?
Please let me know your honest thoughts on this.
Yours Sincerely
Mark Goddard

Hi Mark,
Congratulations on your new post!
I've been hearing great things about the org and all of you, well done.
I don't have a job at the moment and no one will sponsor my bill.
But I am working on another book, if this one sells better I will certainly clear all my debts. Give my love to Helen, I heard she is making a fantastic auditor!

Dear Xxxxxx

Thanks for your reply. Yes things are going pretty well
and helen is doing great as an auditor.

What do you plan to do as far as the bridge is concerned?

Obviously the cycle of your leaving remains unresolved asyou never returned to complete the routing off. Some payment towards the services you had would show at least the intention to pay, which would help with your cycle, even if you dont have the wherewithall to pay it all right now.

I like to think that we had a fairly good comm line so I am not going to do that a disservice by being too social and covering up my true feelings on the cycle. You were well liked and a lot of good people put a lot of hopes and effort towards your training. Your blow was harmful to those people who put that confidence in you. Some payment towards the bill would show the intention to start making up the damage for that and that would be very welcome.

I really would like to see those comm lines and relationships restored so I hope to hear from you soon.

Much Love
Mark Goddard

Hi Mark,
Thank you for your email.
I also had put a lot of energy, hope, effort, money and time, not to speak of all my life plans, on my training and working at Plymouth Org. I will not go into why I left with you, as you have obviously been left out of the investigation which followed plus it would restimulate a whole bunch of stuff which would be very bad for the baby.

Don't forget that while on staff my stats were consistently high and I had great results and wins. If I had money I would start paying my debt off, not because it would make you or anyone else at the org feel better as I know it wouldn't; but because I believe that Ply Org can reach Idea Org and all income is a help. Plus I also know that it would go toward the staff wages, which are always in short supply. I have no pretenses nor interest of making anyone feel good or bad with my actions, everyone is responsible for their own feelings as you well know.

I am glad you have voiced the way you felt when I left, I knew it at the time, but could not say anything to you as you were not my auditor.

Thanks for that, I appreciate your honesty. Be sure that as soon as I start earning money, some of it will go to the Org.


Thu, 19 Jan 2006 13:12:38 -0000
Dear Xxxxxx,
Hello. How are you doing?
Xxxxxx is back and doing well.

Did you have a good christmas? Are you pregnant? If so how many months?
There are lots of things I would like to know but I think thats enough questions for one e-mail so on to the reason for my e-mail. What would be really great would be for you to pay your bill off. The perfect solution would be for you to pay the whole thing off and I know you are capable of doing this if you really decide to.
Whilst this would be great I realise that it may not be possible immediatley. It would make things much easier for Xxxxxx and us on your cycle if you at least flow something meaningful towards it. This would at least show in to the physical universe an intention to handle the situation.

Your help in getting Xxxxxx back has been noted and is in your favour so lets at least take some step towards handling your cycle to avoid getting in to a situation which keeps you off the bridge and puts Xxxxxx in an difficult position.
much love
Mark Goddard


Thu, 19 Jan 2006 09:32:29 -0800 (PST)

Dear Mark,
Lovely xmas surrounded by family and friends, it was fantastic. The baby is dues in April, so you can imagine the pregnancy is well into the third trimester.

Yes, if it wasn't for me Xxxxxx would not be back on staff.. I didn't do it for brownie points but for much higher reasons, so don't try to use Xxxxxx as leaverage to try to get money out of me when I have none. The money I sent Xxxxxx was in fact put together by family members (including Xxxxxx) for the sole purpose of getting Xxxxxx back to Plymouth Org. I know you have to meet your stats, I understand that fully, but using Xxxxxx and implied threats gets my back up no end.

If you do it again I will have to cut all comm with you. Now that I know Xxxxxx is back on purpose I don't really care much if you stop him talking to me or not... get it?
Please give my regards to Helen, I hear she is doing fantastic work.
All the best,

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 20:04:59 -0000

Dear Xxxxxx
I don't use implied threats or threats only facts so lets look at them.

Since you blew you have shown absolutely no intention to handle your situation. You know the policies on this.

Your earlier e-mails were very social and it is good to hear your news but frankly your sweet comments are not what is needed or wanted to turn this situation around right now. What we need to see is some action in the physical Universe towards handling your cycle.

Your declare is long overdue and that it hasn't been done already is an oversight. Also being totally truthful the fact that cycle hasn't been pushed through out of some consideration for Xxxxxx. That is a fact not a veiled threat.

Quite frankly your e-mail shows me that the cycle is further south than I had thought so I am passing a copy of your e-mail to HCO. I am going to wait 14 days before I write to HCO saying that there is no intention on your part
to handle the situation. They will have to action it from their end and unfortunatley Xxxxxx will have to confront the issness of what he is dealing with.

I don't expect you will admit that this means anything to you but some where on the way down the ethics gradients we will find the right one. The rest is up to you it is your family and your eternity.

As regards eternity you will be in it. How you want it to be and what condition you want to be in is up to you and that is the decision you are making right now. My earnest advice to you is don't make it on some reaction
or misemotion or take it lightly. I can see from your e-mail that I am not doing you or your situation any favours by avoiding it or alowing it to go unconfronted any longer.

ML Mark Goddard


Fri, 20 Jan 2006 13:11:34 -0800 (PST)

I see your true colours have finaly shown.

Also, you have taken NO notice of what I have told you about my financial situation. It's really a shame. I hope you are also sending a copy of the emails you have written to me with mine, you need some handling.
I will not be in contact with you personaly again.
best regards,


Fri, 20 Jan 2006 20:04:59 -0000

My true colors have never been anything other than nailed firmly to the mast as far as I am aware.

Yes a copy of my E-mails will also be sent to HCO.

Also I know that you have put this on Xxxxxxs lines and a seperate report has been written on that to HCO.

Anyway I come back to the original message of my original e-mail I want you to start doing something towards your bill. Just something that shows a serious intention in the physical universe to handle your situation. If I receive it in the next 12 days ( original 14 days minus the weekend ) I will report to HCO that you are taking steps to handle if I dont I will report that you are not.

Please do not ignore it or think that this somehow won't happen because it will. Your cycle is being looked at. I am not trying to make trouble for you as you obviusly think I am but am actually trying to help you to avoid it.

There is not really much point in any other comm except if you need any help on it logistically let me know.

Much love

Mark Goddard
Organisation Executive Secretary Plymouth.


Mon, 23 Jan 2006 09:57:11 -0800 (PST)

I see you have calmed down a bit... you should deal with whatever charge you have with regard me. What did you do to me? Was it one of your mistakes that messed up my case? I have to wonder now.

If you care to see what you are saying, the only possible action you think I should take that means anything is to give you money. Well, that action unfortunatelly is impossible, I have no work visa in the USA and make absolutelly no money. In fact, I even have to ask for money for the most basic things like sanitary pads etc. I have told you this before, something you have not bothered to register.
As no other action is meaninful to you, then there is nothing much I can help you with.

Oh, I hope you send this email to HCO also, please tell them that the new President of Chile, a family friend, now has a copy of Dianetics and also the
booklet on Human Rights, and the Minister of Education is looking at the Basic Study Manual. The President knows all about Xxxxxx and his going back to work for
these goals in Plymouth.

I can take actions, even without money, your small view of "the only action I can take" is irrelevant and untrue. These are only examples, work done in the background using my family's influence in high places. If I am declared, it is totally irrelevant, the rest of the world knows nothing about declarations, and as far as the books being used in Education etc. in Chile, you can't stop that by declaring me, the books speak for themselves.

As to Xxxxxx I hope you put in your report what I said to him, that as long as he stays on purpose what happens between us is of no consequence. My comm with
my son is honest, we do not hold secrets from each other... you are the one who brought him into the matter in the first place. If you didn't want this on his lines, you should not have brought him into it.


Tue, 24 Jan 2006 12:03:56 -0000

Dear Xxxxxx

Great on the things you have done to promote Scientology I will make sure that that data goes to HCO with the rest of the data.

Yes as far as I know exactly what you said to Xxxxxx has gone to HCO as well. I don't know what was said or what is in the report if you would like to add anything to it then you should write a report to HCO yourself.

The point I really want to get across is that some movement towards handling your situation of blowing from staff is what is needed to avoid the inevitable declare if we can't show that you are actually trying to handle this situation.

You are right that the money isn't the only thing which could be done.
The other is to come back and complete the routing form. I thought that with the pregnancy and wedding etc. the money is something which you could show some movement on right now and this would be easier for you. Something really does need to happen now because the cycle is being looked at by HCO and they will need tangible evidence of something so they dont have to issue a declare.

We have got about 11 days now from my original date. I await your response with something tangible in the physical universe.

Much love
Mark goddard
O. E. S. Ply

THE ONLY INFORMATION THE PRESIDENT AND OTHER MINISTERS RECEIVED WERE THAT ... NOTHING ACTUALLY, I never bothered to tell them anything about the church except that my son had managed to stay off drugs there and better the pan than the fire, but I wouldn't recommend it to any sane person.
Hey, what do you know, I used to speak scientologeese!

While reading about people's experiences with the SO I remembered one particular SO member who stayed with me while I was in staff at Plymouth, Tim Knowles. I think he was about 21 at the time.

Tim arrived at the org as FBO [financial bureau office]. At first he lived in a house where some other scinetologists lived. One day I arrived at the org to find him unshaven and smelling of sweat, looking tired and sleepy, coming out of the FBO office. I asked him if he was ok, he told me that he was ok but that he found it hard to sleep on the office floor.

It turned out he had ran out of money and had no where to live as he could no longer pay the rent at the place he was staying. Being a mother I could not allow this young kid to live like that so I gave him my house keys and told him to go and have a shower and that he could stay in my living room until he could pay for somewhere better to live.

He stayed with me for a few months and then one day he was ordered back to Saint Hill. I learned he was in the RPF. A few months later he arrived in Plymouth and collected his possessions from the org and then we went to my house and he collected his things from there as well. He wouldn't tell me why he wasn't coming back or what he was doing next. I later learned that he had left the SO, he told them he had taken LSD at some point in the past and was routed out.

I am mentioning this because I felt that the way he was treated as a staff member was not right. Also because at the time no one would tell me where this kid was or why I could not talk to him anymore or try to find if he was doing ok.

People disappear from orgs or lines all the time and there is a unspoken hush about where they have gone or what happened to them. The only time everyone will be talking about someone who left is when they have been decleared and then they are slandered no end.

I also remember once that I saw the HAS open a letter and a check for £10 come out of it. I made a comment about how good it was to get it and I was told that it was from a freeloader who had betrayed the org and all the staff.... I remember making a mental note that if I left I would not pay "my freeloader" bill.

Tony Harris was in charge of the Purif when I worked at Plymouth Org. As far as I know is still a staff member there.

If it wasn’t for Tony, I would probably be on staff.
He was a good friend to me at the time and we were a couple on and off while I was there. He was the most loyal person I have ever met, and this was his downfall with regard being a staff member. He often would tell me the years, months and days he had left on staff and couldn’t wait to be out of there, but he had signed a contract and as a loyal person he would honor that contract.

One day he told me that he was afraid that Scientology was evil. When I asked him to explain, he quoted from “The Count of Monte Cristo”, he said that in this book there was a tale of how men would be captured and drugged. They would wake up in a palace with beautiful young women, food, “special brew” and everything they could ever dream to have. They were told that they were in fact in heaven. After a while in this place, the young men would be told they had to go back to earth to carry out something or other and as soon as they did it, they could return to heaven. If they did not carry our the orders, the men could not return.
Tony felt that Scientology might be like that.

At the time it fascinated me that he could feel this way about something he was so adamant in continuing to support.

Once he also told me not to give the church any more money ( I had already donated over £3000 for the Qual library and for renovations), he told me that I was all alone in the world and that no one in the church would help me or support me if I was ever in need.

This man would work full time at the Org and then he would work night shifts at another location to pay his mortgage and other bills. He probably still does. Plus he would stay at the Org overnight sometimes to make sure no one broke into it. I am not sure about other orgs but at Plymouth the men have to take turns at staying at the Org overnight so that it is never left empty.

Even with this level of loyalty and dedication the auditing and processes he had paid for were never finished.

Tony sent me a disconnection letter in 2005.

If he ever read this I want him to know that he was the best friend I had ever had. Although we had nothing in common, except a few other lifetimes as friends, he was truly an angel at a point in my life that I needed an angel more than anything in the world.

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