| A process of healing... Lovesnightsky |
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Page 1 of 2 I was on staff at Plymouth Org in Devon UK and also brought two of my relatives into staff with me [edit: these were my two children, a boy and a girl in their teens]. Unlike most people on staff, I had been a member of another cult and had studied religions and philosophy before going into Scientology [edit: I was a member of a buddhist school that turned into a cult while I was in it, at which point I left.] and my main aim was to find out how it worked and hoped against hope that this group was for real. When I went into the org, I found that the people there were good souls trying their best to do their best for the world and this was endearing. Because of my high stats [edit: the “ruin” questionnaire did not find a ruin in my case, it was practically a horizontal line on top of the graph], I immediately joined the TTC and began training as an auditor. I was a natural and quickly moved through the different levels. One day, when I was reading a novel and then started counting the pages I just read, I realized I had gone too far and had to leave [edit: part of a students statistics is to measured by the amount of pages they had read that day while studying. As such, after reading any material, the pages are counted and written down, to be added up at the end of the day]. I did try to route out [this is a process where the person is taken through various steps to let them leave staff, including security checks], because of my relatives, which was a disaster. I was sent to SH and obviously they wouldn’t let me route out until I did the course which was the flavour of the day (the ones which everyone had been order to sell, no matter what the PC needed). I signed in my course start papers, was sent to do the usual Sec Checks which of course I always passed with flying colours and then was interviewed by several high ranking officials. This last step was rather unusual as it came as a direct result of the fact that I have very high political connections in the real world [my father was the presidential adviser to the president of Chile at the time as well as a high ranking official in the ministry of education in Chile and a very close personal friend and adviser to the president of Peru at the time]. Who would bother with someone with no connections right? After this fiasco, I walked out of SH and took the train home. I know that Dorothy West (OTVIII) did take over Plymouth org for a while when I left, and, this is second hand data, as a direct result of my leaving both the ED and C/S were taken off their posts and sent back to SH for rehabilitation. Dorothy is the nicest and best person I know. She is also very gifted. As far as I know she is not working there anymore due to health problems. I was not declared, nor did I care if I was actually. But here is the main part of my story and what really hurts. Even though I went in knowing that groups are not perfect and even though while listening to LRH’s tapes I couldn’t stop laughing at the joke of it all (the way he continuously made underhanded references to where he got his data and had his little secret jokes – brilliant), I did want this group to be real. When I realised it was just a money making machine that used psychology, and needs and wants of people to make money, it was a real blow. The way that staff would bully others who were “below” them was horrible. The way in which people were invalidated, made wrong, just because something was not real to them or they didn't have the money for yet another class or process, was not acceptable. They did try to get me back for several months, years even. Told me that my case had been mishandled and that I would be “fixed” if I went back. As a result I don’t trust any group or company. If anyone offers me anything I am continuously waiting for the price tag to be given or for their nasty or needy side to come out, which of course does. Studies do show that people do need groups where they feel they belong to, to be happy. I tried to delude myself that this group could be it, but it was no good. It does hurt to this day and I have been unable to join any other group. I did get married and had a baby, which was one of the goals they tried to talk me out of, but as far as groups go, I trust no one.
Re: My leaving St Hill I left St Hill on the 16th Dec 2004 because I felt it wasn't doing any good me staying. I was routed onto a course to make up stats [edit: Statistics are very important to staff members. Each staff member has certain things that count as statistics and they will do just about anything to keep their high, otherwise they are in big trouble with the church] in the morning and was waiting for more than 3 hours for the MAA [this is the person who deals with ethic matters in the church, in other words, anyone who does not agree with something that the church says or wants them to do] in the afternoon, she didn't see me, but it did give me time to reflect. I only had £10 left and 3 days to stay at Bullards [edit: this is a house close to Saint Hill where staff members can stay], the course and routing form take a lot longer than that. Two things you said stuck out in my mind, one is that if I have attracted situations which pull me off staff from Plymouth Org then there is something going on that is fishy, could be MUs, out ethics, out tech, overts. I don't know and I won't try to list [edit: listing means that the person is making a list of possible things, people or events that might have caused an upset in their lives. This is a big no-no in scientology as it is only meant to be done with an auditor and an e-meter so that the person doesn’t go on a mental spin]. The other is that when you asked me if I was happy as a staff member I thought I was [edit: I was not happy as a staff member, but lied here to keep the peace], but when I went for a walk around St Hill I saw keyed out [edit: keyed out means they are happy] happy staff members doing their jobs and getting on without fear, tiredness or sickness... something [bad indicators] which I observe every day at Plymouth Org [edit: this was actually true during the first half of the day, but I think it might have been a Thursday at the time because come near 4pm I saw staff turning into real monsters as they tried to get their stats up. I saw a teenage girl abusing and insulting a middle aged man at the front desk for leaving sacks of mail there that had to leave SH before 4 or the letter could not be counted toward that week’s stats]. These are my personal observations, true for me and could be stained by an out ethics situation or overts. Dick and Susie [edit: Dick was the Executive Director of Plymouth Org and Susie was his wife and also the Senior Case Supervisor who is a person that decides what people have to receive auditing on and also checks the auditing files to make sure no mistakes had been made] are regularly having temper fits at staff. Last week some staff were late Dick blew up at the ones there in time, the ones that were not late, wrong target. He also blew up at a public called Ralph Angel, he left and never came back (I was told it must be overts [negative actions] by Ralph on Dick), these are just two examples. Susie will snipe at staff and make condescending comments even about public within their earshot. Helen Goddard is always sick or over tired, but very keyed out about training to be an auditor so it doesn't stop her in the least. Mark Goddard soldiers on with a smile even though only sees his kids 15 mins a day if he's lucky (overheard Helen saying this several times). Tony Harris is counting his days on staff and feels the only reason he is not attacked is because he has a personal comm line with Dick and the only reason he stays is because he is a man of his word and he signed a contract, not because he is keyed out working there. Vicky [edit: second in command] and Xxxxxx [edit: my son] seem happy most of the time, working away and look keyed out, Vicky does get regular back problems though. Viv I don't have much interaction with, but I have seen both Dick and Susie shout at her over things and my obnosis [edit: obnosis = “observation of the obvious”] would be of her in a tone of fear. Mark Jeffreys is hardly ever there, when he is he is placed on supervising the academy and he makes it known he is unhappy doing that. Tony, Dick, Vicky, Sandra, Greg, Helen and Mark (Goddard), and Martin are continuously getting sick. Greg would be moodie and entheta [edit: negative] in the course room even when supervising (when he supervises the academy only as when he supervises the Div Six course room he keeps his TRs [edit: keeps up a positive demeanor]). David [edit: David Hutt] is a brilliant auditor, but he gets epileptic fits during sessions. An Org should be a theta [edit: positive] place, somewhere fun and happy to work, somewhere one feels safe and a joy to be in. That's not the experience I have had, nor Xxxxxx xxxx(my daughter), Tony Harris or Steve Terry, I don't know about the others. I suppose I would accept entheta in a wog [edit: non scientologist] workplace as normal, but an org is not a wog place. It hasn't been a joy for me to work there and the only reason I have lasted so long in good spirits is that I wanted to be an auditor very badly and have a good chunk of theta [edit: immortal life-source] naturally. I don't think the staff is SP in any way, none of them are. I do think there is out tech, out ethics [edit: doing negative things] and ptsness [edit; under the influence of an SP and thus a Potential Trouble Source], a lot of it, that has not been handled, no matter what the excecs say, it has not been handled in the least. For the staff to try and handle it is impossible. Handlings on a few of the staff and meter checks have been done but to no avail. For proof that this is happening in Plymouth just look at the Ethics files there [edit: these are the files from interviews by the scientology “police”]. Orders from above are conveyed with anything but joy. Dick told me I had him as my target, well, he is supposed to be our leader so he is responsible for the group so I suppose he is right. If he can't handle 22 staff with a cool head and clear and leadership then how is he going to handle 100? 200? He needs cramming and a lot of auditing, he deserves it. Maybe with the right handling he could pull this org out of the crap, his heart is in the right place. For an OTVII OES get Vicky audited, she's good at her job. All I know is that I respect the vision and work being done by Plymouth Org, my son is very happy there and I will try to do my best to make it so that he is financially secure while he is on staff and until he can earn enough as staff to take care of himself. But I don't want to return there, I feel disillusioned and no longer share the will to spend my time in this group although I do love them and hope they reach their goals and beyond. Maybe my previous life leaving scientology has been restimulated [edit: acting out an event that happened before. During session it came to light that I had in fact been a pioneer scientologist up to the first half of the 1960s and had then left as I had a very big disagreement about the way the group was going and they way in which all our work was being plagiarized by Hubbard and true and real people with amazing abilities were being excluded from the group. I took this to be a reaction of fear from Hubbard as these people did not fit into his plan of total domination], I don't know and won't try to look. I am going to stay with a friend in London for a couple of weeks, then decide what to do. I believe in Scholastics and The Way to Happiness and I will work to implement them in South America with or without help [edit: I had no plans of doing this but thought it would keep them off my back]. ML, [edit: When this letter was received at Saint Hill, people from the Plymouth Org went into my house, were let in by my son, and went through all my personal possessions, including my clothes, computer, files, books, letters, photos etc.. Their excuse was that they were looking for my friend’s address in London. I did not have a friend in London. I had left the country. The invasion of privacy made me feel violated.] Dear xxxxxxx, It would really be a great help if you could give us the information You have on how your cycle was 'handled'. Dick is not there any more and 2 Sea Org missionaires are currently in The org putting things straight. They had the opportunity to go and see xxxxx this morning to get her data. They gave me to understand that they absolutely do need yours on the basis that they can't find everything in the existing files. Please do get in comm. I have very fond memories of you and your abilities as a technical Terminal and your great affinity and high level of application of the tech. I particularly remember iworking with you in the academy and having fun! Much love Dorothy
Re: Observations on Ply Org He would have temper fits most days against staff. The first time I saw his temper fit was a few days after my daughter Xxxxxx joined staff. It was a Sunday and we went in to do renovation work in the morning. As we walked into the Org, there was no one on the ground floor, Xxxxxx shouted “hello!” downstairs, Dick answered and started coming up the stairs, Xxxxxx told him there was no one on the ground floor when we arrived, he blew up at shouting and screaming about how he was away only a few minutes and nothing could happen and all sorts of other things. We were both shocked at his outburst. Unfamiliar with how to write Ethics Reports, we did nothing about it, but at the time I felt Dick was just like any other Wog. Another incident that comes to mind was at a Staff Meeting, Dick came in, threw all his notes and papers violently on the floor and started screaming and shouting at the staff. He then asked that if anyone wanted to be out of the group to stand up and leave straight away. He then asked a Div 6 staff (can’t remember his name) whether he wanted to leave, the staff member said yes, so Dick told him to go. The staff member got up and left the room, went into the front room, Dick shouted what he was doing there, and he said he was finishing something or other, Dick told him to forget it and just leave. Then he asked Steve Terry whether he wanted to leave, Steve said no. I felt this was really very bad, I eventually wrote it up and sent it to St Hill. Dick also blew up at my face a few times, the ones that stand out in my mind are once when I wrote a CSW several days before the day in question for being half an hour late to the Purification Program (which I was receiving), Susie never received the CSW from the Tech Sec, and when I arrived late she screamed and shouted and called me every name under the sun, then wrote a KR. I didn’t respond in like manner as I wanted to get going to the Purif, but I did write it up in my Purif report that day, as her behaviour had really upset me as I don’t like being shouted at.. Later on I was called to see Dick in the small room by the film room downstairs. He said “What the fuck do you think you are, making snide remarks about my Senior C/S!!! You fucking Barbie Doll, come in here all high and mighty…..” he went on from there with more insults, then shouted how Susie was not wrong in getting upset. I told him I didn’t think, nor said, that Susie was wrong at any time, because she wasn’t, she was upset that she did not receive the CSW and did not know where I was, what she had done wrong was her handling, shouting and insulting me before a Purif session. I told him if she shouted at me again I would retaliate, that shouting was not the right way to address me as I did not respond well to it. Plus I had not slandered or spoken a word against Susie to anyone but my auditor in the Purif report form, I had followed proper procedure. Again, after this incident, I felt he was just another wog and nothing better could be expected of him. Another time he blew up at me was when I told him I was leaving staff. I wrote it all up and sent it to St Hill. During an interview with Dick and Vicky, Dick commented that something I said was a “generalisation” I felt he was implying I was a suppressive person. Susie Jones I also heard her shout at Viv (HAS) in the Office one afternoon, I walked out again. Once at a public event, Steve Terry’s wife arrived with some really nice food, Susie said the woman was “Making Amends” (quietly). I felt this was very wrong. After the one incident where she shouted at me before the Purif session, I never had any abuse from her again. She treated me respectfully and professionally. I did hear from my daughter, she told me Susie often shouted at her when there was no one around, that she made degrading jokes about her and blamed her for lots of things that went wrong in the org, I told Xxxxxx to write it all up, which she told me she did and at least the degrading jokes stopped. After I started my leaving routing form Susie was upset with me, but she kept it to simply not talking to me anymore, just greeting and goodbyes. Vicky Viv Mark Goddard Greg Boyce Dave PES Tony Harris Helen Goddard Steve Terry Xxxxxx Xxxxxx I told him we would go back just to get our stuff and then leave, my plan was to take him to the Org once we arrived there, or have Viv come over to the house. If it wasn’t for me, he would not be back on staff and I was upset when I was given a Non- enturbulation order for trying to take him off staff. If I had wanted to take him off staff I would simply gotten my nephew in Madrid put him on a plane to the USA, not gone to all the trouble to make sure he got to Plymouth. Xxxxxx is my daughter, so my observations will also be coloured. She was unhappy as a staff member. Myself
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