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Saturday, 22 December 2012
My Story - Bea Kiddo PDF Print E-mail
Part IX


So then I was routed onto the BC. And I knew it would take at least a year. I was trying to get back to LA quickly, but that was not the high-ups plan for me.

Since I was studying theory all day, that was just driving me crazy, with no real work to do (I did not have to do work study like some have because - well, I dont know why actually. Either it was paid or we were from higher org and too bad, so sad. I don't know).

Anyways, my boss at the time, the CO NWC CW needed his Grades and he asked me to audit him. I thought that would be fine. Get someone up the Bridge and I would get out of reading and listening to tapes ALL DAY, which was driving me nuts. (I found out later by another BC grad that when he did the course, they somehow had the tapes rigged to play faster and he got through the course in 1/2 the time!). Also during this I somehow ended up with another pc who I audited for a while: Misclaviges niece. (that is a whole nother story that I may say another time. Not about her as a pc, but everything surrounding it. That was crazyness).

Anyways, I was auditing away, while doing my BC Levels, completing all of them ahead of checksheet time.

Somewhere in there I decided to take a day off, which I did not do very often. At the time, I didn't think anything bad of my plan, but it sure backfired badly. I was going to just go on a bicycle ride with my boss (who was male). It was innocent to me. I dont know if it was to him. Oh well.

Well, we did do the ride, and stopped and had lunch somewhere, then went to a movie. This whole thing REALLY upset his wife. If it were me, it would not have. But I am uninclined to jealousy, and that may be why. I don't know. Anyways, I also mentioned it to my husband, who was still trapped in LA on post. He hung up on me. I thought maybe the phone disconnected and I called him back. He told me that he hung up when he heard that I went out with another guy for the day.

And then I think I had to get ethics interviews about it.. and all this stuff. Nothing fricken' happened!!! (On the day when we can fully trust each other, there will be peace on earth - - - and until then, be jealous, kill maim and torture anyone you feel like). Lol.

So then I was like really pissed off about it. Screw these people. What was the big whoop. I guess its a big deal. I never saw it that way. It started to eat away at his marriage. She was upset I was auditing him, etc. My husband didn't like it too much either now.

So then shortly after that, he wanted to talk to me. I wanted to not have anything to do with him. He was my boss and I had to work with him, and I didnt want anyone getting any ideas that something was going on when it was not. So anyways, he wants to talk to me, ok. We are in the library in the Coachman Building and he tells me that he is in love with me and that he wants to divorce his wife. I remember thinking "is this my result of auditing?" Man, it upset me. I told him that I was not interested and that I just wanted to get through my training and go home.

But now this situation was getting out of control, with alot of distrust about us. And at the same time I was writing and talking to my husband, with little to no response from him. Something changed in him at that time. When you lose the trust, its really hard to get it back.

So then I decided "screw it" and went all out. So me and my boss had a little "affair" that lasted about 2 weeks I guess (no sex, just what they call "heavy petting").

Meanhwhile, I finished my theory on the BC and I was ready to audit. Level O is super-long with alot of requirements. And so I was auditing 40+ hours per week, working to get through my checksheet.

And then the new BC was going to get released. And they were looking for people that could be sups for the BC in different areas. And the UC training pool was full of BC people (most of us towards the end of the BC). All of the positions had been filled, mostly by the UC (PAC, UK, ASHO) and only ANZO was left.

I thought it would be kinda cool to go to ANZO, but then I really didnt want to go. I just thought it was wrong to take apart the UC like that. What about the staff and the Saint Hill size orgs?

There was a lot of talk and alot of my refusal. I finally said if they show me something approved in writing from Senior C/S Int office, and they got my husband also transferred (I knew if I didnt get that done while I had the big wigs trying to get me to do something, that it would never get done). Anyways, he showed up within a week for training at Flag, and I gothe letter from Senior C/S Int Office and I moved on, away from the Universe Corps.

Anyways, I was transferred to ANZO, after a LOT off back and forth, which I created, being unwilling to go, not wearing the uniform, etc. Meanwhile, I was still getting through my training. I remember the Qual Sec running in and saying "where is your passing video?". See, I had to get an RTC pass on Level O and Level P. I said "right here" and handed her a video. She left. It passed that night.

Meanwhile, after 10 pm, since I could not audit, they were having us do other parts of our training, such as the sup course and Internship, seeing the newly done tech films, getting Fully Hatted, etc. We got through the line up.

Then I passed my Level P. And completed the entire BC. And then Class IV C/S Course - I can't remember if they had me do that again. But we all had to do it, so maybe. Or they let it slide.

Oh - also in the middle of the BC I wanted to do the CCRD Course (auditor training to determine if a person had attained the State of Clear). And I squeezed that course in too and did a few CCRD's while there. That was alright.

Somewhere in here I also finshed Class VI INtership. I barely remember it though. We were doing such long hours - 7 am to midnight to get through all the training on time.

So then we were all supervising in the BC Co-audit space. And the Rep was behind us, watching what we were doing. Unfortunately (I guess) for me, the guy that I had the affair with was being audited at the time in the room. And he had a dirty needle and the auditor was not following it up. We had a listen-in system and I was supposed to have her follow it up. I didnt do a good job (because in my mind, I was under separation order from him or something and should not be around him). Anyways, the Rep caught on to something being wrong and put me in an ethics interview. (The ironic thing is, the meter was faulty and he really did not have a dirty needle. It was just showing up on the sup emeter as dirty, when it actually was not - it was clean the whole time on the meter the auditor was using. It was something about the connection between the meters or something).

The interview lasted all day and was done in a back room with an auditor trying to floow up on who knows what - a dirty needle I think they told me. She was not getting anywhere, and I was not saying anything. It was obviuos the "auditor" (really it was an ethics interview) was mad at me. At one point we went to have lunch and it was hot dogs and I did not feel like eating. She started to yell at me and tried to force me to eat. I ate a little and then back to the interview.

And the Captain FSO came in and told me that I had a non-enturbulation order out on me and I was about to get declared (I should have just taken her up on the offer to save time).

I finally said that I wanted to tell my husband. They did not really want that, but I convinced them, saying that they would have everything on camera anyways, so who cares if I told in an ethics interview or where. And they brought my husband over. Before he came in (I found out later), the Captain FSO got right in his face and told him that I had done some very out ethics things and then loudly and sternly told him "keep your TR's IN".

He came in (while I was waiting for him, I wrote a letter to the wife of the guy I cheated with, apologizing to her for everything). So I told my husband what happened and then we discussed our marriage, what would happen to me, etc. We determined that I would do the RPF, and he actually told me that he would wait for me. And he did actually. (I feel really bad for him, because he really was a sweet guy and did not deserve the treatment I gave him. I eally felt like I was doing it against the Sea Org, not him. But it really hurt him and that was not good from me to do that).

So an order came down that I had to be off the base by sunrise. By this time, it was already 10 pm or so. So they put me in this security office and I waited. They came in and told me that I had to pay for my flight home. No way. I politely told them no fricken' way (I knew on the RPF I would be broke and I had to save whatever pennies I had left). They figured it out. And they sent someone with me to escort me to the RPF, for my second round.

And I was transferred back to NWC, and my husband got himself transferred to CLO WUS.

And I was Back in Black, I hate to say it, but you know its good to be back (AC/DC?):o

Part X

1999 - 2000

(Oh yes, Mate. there is more to it... just sit back...)

So now I was back at the PAC Base, routing back into the RPF. Alex Meyer is/was the RPF I/C and he interviewed me, basically to see my state of mind, where I was at on agreement with the assignment, and to check for any medical conditions that he would need to know about. (For the most part, I think that Alex and the deputy were pretty nice, compared to the earlier RPF I was part of, though there were times I really didn't think so...).

So I was put on the decks and I was working in finishes, staining wood all day long, and doing my courses at night. One thing I remember was we used to do alot of projects that we would have no idea what they were for, and sometimes we never found out. One was called the "cherry project". Called that because we had no other name. It was the type of wood that it was being made out of. We had some tight time targets to get all this stuff made. We made everything you could imagine - bookshelves, tables, computer tables, conference tables, etc, etc, etc. The cherry project, towards the end, was getting hectic. They needed everything NOW!!! And it was all hush hush. We tried to figure out what it was for. It was SOOO much furniture. And it all went out on a truck to who knows where. We later found out it was loaded on a ship and went to Germany. Hamburg Org. All of it.

And there was another project where they made some furniture out of some strange looking wood - it was a yellow color. And it had to be made flawless. There were a couple of chairs made - kinda like throne-style I guess. They had strips of perfectly square wood lined up on the back. We had to sand them oh so carefully - they wanted it so that when the light hit the chair, the shadow would be perfectly straight and square on the floor. We spent SO much time on these chairs. And they left (I assume uplines?).

Anyways, while in my training, I noticed that the students did not know what an instant read was and they were not calling them correctly. So I called over the sup to get it corrected, suggesting that they go see the film again. He asked me to help him because he did not know what an instant read was either. Anyways, I wrote it all up to RTC (and the D/RPF I/C asked me why I didnt just let him know). So then I ended up on a mini project to get all of the techies through instant read videos. I think everyone had to do it. And so I was no longer on the decks.

Meanwhile, I was twinned up with Angelo Scozzi, who was the Captain AOLA, who basically commited a felon I believe which ended him up on the RPF, to get through the program. He was audited outside of the program first, to get all the information on what he did, and all of that was taken out of his pc folders and kept somewhere else. All the info on what he did was kept confidential (I knew what it was, but not many did).

At the time, he was OT V and I was OT IV. That meant that he would have to audit me on whatever review I needed, then Elig and start me on OT V. And so he did. Meanwhile, I really did not want to start OT V. But the plan was they wanted me to get him through the program, and it was decided and that was the end of that. And so my Elig went through pretty smoothly (yes, it had to go through RTC, just like everyone else). And I was started on OT V.

I had a rough go of it too. I did not understand the material and I got really upset in session and could not control my emotion. I did not know what the heck was going on and the indoc really upset me. And my twin was not an auditor really and just did not know what to do. And this is where Dan P. came in as my sup. He helped out a few times in the sessions, and got me through some rough spots.

And there was another Solo NOTS C/S there, Matteo Galbiati, who needed a twin. (Why the heck he was not twinned with Angelo in the first place, I really dont know). Anyways, Matteo decided to trio with us and after a while, got this approved. So Matteo was auditing me, I audited Angelo and Angelo audited Matteo. This went on for most of the program.

At first I was doing FESing, instead of decks, then they made me a Cram Off, which I loved doing. I loved helping the auditors getting corrected. It was cool cause there was no politics in it. It was just straight up correction. And they seem to think I was doing a great job. The C/Ses got auditors back who could audit, and it improved the stats, so everyone was happy.

Then somehow I ended up with a review pc, Karen Rossouw, who was having a very rough go at keeping a twin. Anyways, her last auditor was more than happy to turn her over to me. Her pc folder was a mess, with so many things started and not completed. She had been red tagger for like a month straight or something. It was sad. I did get her red tag off after a couple of sessions and I tried to help, I did get her through one FPRD Form later.

During this, I was ready for the last step of the RPF program, which was called the final assessment. You had to read off these 10 lines or so and have no reads or dirty needles or anything. This would go up with your request for final approval to graduate the program. Karen, my review pc, was not doing well at the time and I was told that I would not be allowed to graduate until she was in a better state. This really pissed me off, because Karen had 20 plus years of messed up auditing, and I came in way late on it, trying to help her, and I was being punished for it. I screamed at the RPF I/C about it and told him to find another auditor for her, because I just felt that was bullsh*t!:mad:

And I went downstairs to the famous tunnels and ran into the C/S office where my twin was and told him that I was fricken sick of it all and I was GETTING OUT!!! I ran out, he came chasing after me, into a stairwell. He managed to stop me and we were talking about what happened. There were some chairs down there and I was throwing them and screaming at the top of my lungs (in the tunnels, you can't hear any of it upstairs or outside). Anyways, he managed to calm me down.

Anyways, I ended up comtinuing to audit her, on the advice of my twin, who said he would help me to debug her.

She had been on the ship in the 70's and told me about the chain lockers and throwing overboard that would go on. She had some cool stories, actually.

A sad thing, bless her heart, was when her brother took to cancer and he was not going to make it. He did not want to see Karen. I dont know the whole story, but it appeared that she did not know that he did not want to see her. And they found ways and reasons why she could not visit. I dont even think she went to his funeral. He did not want her there. And I was in the middle of all that. So sad for her!

Soon after, it was decided that she would be routed off staff, because she could not manage to get and keep a twin to audit. So I had to do a sec check on her. And it was rough, and she was routed out. I saw her later and she looked like she was doing better and she was happier.

Meanwhile, Matteo and I had a little thing going on (gross out ethics if you ask anyone there, right?) We were attracted to each other. My husband hardly wrote more and a couple of sentences to me, though he was still waiting for me, I guess. Matteo and I got to the point where we decided if things got bad, we could just take off together.

In the middle of all that, he kept having fainting spells and he had to go to the hospital. He ended up needing a pacemaker for his heart. And so we would make regular visits to the hospital.

We were really close to the end of our program and all hell broke loose. Matteo had a fainting spell, even with the pacemaker in, and I freaked out and wanted to go to the hospital with him. They wouldnt let me. Things were getting really rough for me in the RPF and I did not want to be there anymore. I wanted to blow with Matteo that night, and I think they figured out something was really wrong. So then they seperated us.

Matteo went to the hospital and then came back to rest. They would not let me see or talk to him. I knew they would bluff him telling him that I had told all (as they did with me at Flag), so I tried to get a note to him, when giving back his cigarettes to him. The MAA caught it and caught us.

So the whole story came to light and we all ended up on the RPF's RPF. Me, Angelo and Matteo. But in this case, Matteo and I became major enemies. We were hating each other. Now the seperation for us was to protect each other from the other. We were ready to be at each others throats. We were blaming each other for what happened. And of course, in every situation, the other is guilty while "I" am innocent! And so it went.

Angelo and I finished the RPF's RPF together and left Matteo behind to fend for himself.

Part forgotten, but never forgotten for me

Approx 2000? Really dont remember....

This is part of something that happened while in the RPF, second time. Note that there are a ton of stories related to others that I have, which I have not mentioned. This one is just an addition to my story.

One fine day I was working on decks. I overheard someone say something about John Mustard having back pains. John Mustard is a very, very close friend of mine. We used to hang out all the time. He was like my father, I guess, though he had his own, other kids, he did not mind taking me on too. He was working at the Manor Hotel at the time.

I knew that something was horribly wrong. I ran up to see the RPF I/C and begged him to find out for me. He said he didn't think it was a big deal, with a back pain, whats the deal. I was VERY upset and he knew it would be best to just check and make sure. So he did. And I was called to his office very shortly after. John had kidney cancer. I was so upset about it.

Despite being trapped in the RPF, they actually approved for me to go see him. I was in good graces at that time on the RPF (And Alex Meyer ain't really a bad guy. He has a heart).

So I went to see John. He was so emaciated (John, for those who don't know him, is quite tall and had a little or not so little pot belly). He could barely talk or move. This was advanced cancer. He had pills he was supposed to take and he wasn't taking them, he didn't even have them. I wrote up a report because he wasn't being cared for. I was really upset about it.

If I could, I would have given one of my kidneys to him. I was so late seeing him. I think after he saw me, he died within days. I was so angry and frustrated.

(And earlier than that, Carol Monroe had died of brain cancer, and Allen Hubbert died of cancer too. I think his was brain cancer). Both Allen and John were like father figures for me. Allen was more my auditor though, but John I had known for 15 years or so and this one really pissed me off (I couldnt cry, and still havent been able to).

Please, if past lives are real, can't he come back to me? He is someone I miss more than anything.

So they let me go to his funeral and oh yeah - I cried and cried and cried then. I remember I couldnt stop! (Thats right! I forgot about that). His wife/widow spoke at his funeral - she was hardly ever around because she was uplines and he was not so they were not together much.

I was supposed to talk to her I guess, I dont know. I couldn't talk to anyone. I felt like I was the only one crying for him! Everyone else had their damn TR's IN!!! What the f*ck is up with these people?!?!? (Ok, breathe, breathe, calm down girl).:grouch2:

Anyways, I went to see RPF I/C again and asked if I could send her (the widow) a letter and would he let it go through (we were not allowed to originate communications, but were allowed to respond to communications to us, and she had never talked to me). Anyways, he was nice enough to let me do that. I wrote her a really long heart-felt letter and she responded and we ended up becoming pretty good friends for a while there. After I finished the RPF, she was on (she got sent there sometime after his death) and I kept in constant touch with her, checking on how she was doing and her progress and so forth.

Ok, that brought back some tough memories....

There was a build up of so many things, which are coming out slowly but surely here, that led to me getting out, in any way that I could. And it was intentional, getting out how I did. And that made people mad. What can I say?

SO MANY people dying of cancer in my life. Is that because I am SP and I did that? If you ask the church, that is what they might say.

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