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Saturday, 22 December 2012
My Story - Bea Kiddo PDF Print E-mail
1985 - 1988

Ok screw it. I will skip to Part III. Part II is too complicated to tell right now. I can't so I will skip for now and go to next part. Maybe later.

EDITED/ADDED: I forgot to add the battle of Portland in here - so I am going to insert it here. Sorry for any confusion. Ok so in 85 I was a kid still (teens) and there was a big briefing called to PAC base people. At that time, my mother and brother were also on the PAC Base, uncommon for us to all be there. Anyways, before the briefing I had this premonition that something was very wrong and i thought the church was getting closed down. I was kind of excited about it, cause I thought I would have more freedom. Oh well. So a big court case and anyone who could was to go down and protest. I thought we would be gone for a month. That was what I remember being told. Anyways, a little girl named Emma D'Abrey (I think her parents are now declared? Not sure. Last time I knew she was in the Sea Org at Flag somewhere) wanted to come with me. At the time she was 5 and I was a teen. Both of our parents allowed us to go by ourselves. Unbelievable but true. I was going to watch her. Our parents were staying in LA. As we were getting on the bus, we were interviewed by the media about why we were going. Poor Emma didnt know what to say. And I tried to say to defend freedom or something, I dont know. We got on the bus and I sat next to a girl who kept telling me that Prince wrote the song "Rasberry Beret" about her. Bus drive was 24 hours.

So we all got to Portland and started protesting, etc. I ended up meeting Jeff Pomerantz (the speaker voice at all the events, and other honorable whatevers) because one time he came up behind Emma and I while we were marching and he took Emma and ran off up the street. He said nothing to me. I ran after him cause I didnt know what the heck he wsa doing stealing a little girl. She was crying and scared. It was media on the corner and he wanted her on his shoulders for the shot. And that is little Emma. I caught up to them and saw who he was and told her it was ok, and to hold a sign up for the cameras. Shortly after that I think she was sent home, or I lost track of her. I dont remember. Anyways, we were sleeping on the gm floor at Delphi the whole time that we were there. I think there were thousands of people. I dont know. I kept getting my head stepped on by people who couldnt see me. We stayed up there about 2 months protesting and then came home. I remember one other time we were protesting and a WOG yelled out "Go home!!!" and Jeff said "This is our home until we win!!!" and that came our saying for weeks. I was embarrased to be there and embarrased about being a Scientologist. I didnt even really know what it was!


Around the time that I was about 15 I guess, while many kids were running out of control, and the CEO and Cadet Org were not really on the ball getting us under control, the CO CMO PAC took to a meeting of all the squirts running around, which included myself and my best friend (who had continued my earlier actions, mainly consisting of theft and ditching school). THe CO CMO PAC of the time is an Aussie or Kiwi (forgive me, for I cannot remember!) named Sue Bolstad. She gave us this whole speech about our lives and how we were all out ethics and stuff. She asked me how old I was and I told her I was 13. She said at that age, she was already Class IV and auditing and sec checking. Ok, long story short, we all got shipped off to the Cadet Org. We all got forcibly voluntarily joined (yes, incorrect grammar, so what?).

And so I started low in the group. I think they made me the E/O (LOL, I was so out ethics, who knows how I won that title, even for kiddies!). Then I moved up and ended up doing collections from Missions that Cadets did around the orgs. We used to sell Freedom Magazines, pass out TWTH books, handle backlogged filing, etc and the orgs would pay us.

Anyways, somewhere in there I stole like 13 dollars, or 30? Cant remember and they sent me to the CHildrens RPF. Ok. THat was weird. I couldnt talk to anyone, no music, movies, nothing. I used to just sweep the front yard all the time. I got stuck there for about a year.

THen some recruiter for the SO came by trying to get his stats up for Thurs morning. He tried to get this one guy to join, but he didnt want to go. So I said I would go!! Anything to be able to listen to music again!

And that was why I joined the Sea Org. So I could listen to music again. You gotta understand, I was a kid when I joined. Likely to young. I didnt understand what the heck I was doing.

I remember on the EPF, doing all this heavy work. And then the courses were hard for me. I took like 6 months to read KSW #1 and then I was finally ready for a star-rate and I was terrified, trying to remember the defs of all those big words!). And the person asked me the def of "had" and I couldnt define it. She told me to look it up, re-read the bulletin and call her over when I was ready.

I remember thinking "Ok, see you in 6 months". LOL.

I was taking too long on the courses and I think they reviewed my situation and determined that since I had done BSM, I didnt need a study tech course and I had done some form of ethics course, So I just needed to do the Welcome to the Sea Org tapes (no star-rates there! Yay!) and the Cleaning Course or something (easy star-rates). But there was nothing about teeth brushing in any of that....

And then for the physical labor: I was working in the galley and I hated it. I hated cleaning things with water. It would dry my hands out so badly they would hurt. And then they wanted me to open the grease traps and clean them out too. Man, they smell nasty! Gross! So the Bosun was telling me that he would not sign for me to graduate until I got over all that (he had a crush on me and asked me out earlier and I declined and maybe that was his big deal anyways).

Oh well, while he was on study, somene else signed off for him and I graduated, a FULL Sea Org member!!! Yay. Age: 15.

Part IV

1988 - 1991

One of the first things I learned in the Sea Org, because I was a receptionist, was how to handle process servers. I got drilled on it. (I guess there was alot of court stuff going on in those days). DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING THEY TRY TO GIVE YOU. Even if they shove it at you, hold your hands back and do not accept anything. Let it drop to the floor and do not touch it for any reason. They taught us different ways that they could try to trick you. I never met any of them. Too bad for me. Oh well. They made them seem like ogres.

I got tested in school while in the Sea Org to see where I was at educationally. They found out that I was fourth grade level. So they set to work on catching me up. Since I couldnt get out of it, I went with it. So I caught up in a year (I was never dumb, I just didnt like school). So that may be why I have decent literacy now (plus having done the BC - alot of words there too).

Anyways, I was on reception post for about 1 1/2 years, sending out promo and writing letters. THen I got to stealing again and they put me in the Big kids RPF. I was like 16 1/2 I guess? When I got busted, I figured I would be routed out, never even thought that I was going to the RPF. That suprized me alot. They made me sign a document that I was going voluntarily (which I didnt really understand all the big words in that. I was schooled but not a scholar or lawyer).

So I started running around, doing renos and learning how to audit. They gave me a twin who only wanted to get declared. She was intent on it! (She got her wish about 12 years later). Anyways, we tried to get each other through the program and audited each other. Dont remember too much about the auditing. So in 1991 there was the amnesty and everyone was off the RPF and we all went to Manor Hotel.

I remember poor Tim Harder (now declared) coming in to see the missionares there and they were telling him he had to make 200,000 dollars regging for Manor Hotel for the place to fund what was needed. I was trying to understand how in the heck anyone could get that much money together for Hotel Services for a hotel so small? He got busted because he got a hold of a bunch of credit cards and started charging them just trying to keep his stats in a decent range. It became an obsession to do a good job. As soon as it was discovered, he got declared and his wife divorced him.

Ok, its late. More later I guess. (This is only the first 5 years! My gosh. So much more to it!)
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Part IV - A

May 1989 - Sept 1991

Well, I skipped out on a bit and just decided, what the heck, lets add it. It's the grand ol' RPF.

So that day that I got sent to the RPF, I signed some paper saying that I was voluntarily going. I was not. I thought I was going to be routed out. Oh well. I wish I were routed out.

Anyways, I learned how to audit, learned how to do renovations and build stuff. That part was cool.

But, as you already know from earlier parts of my story, I am really good at getting myself in trouble. And so, I ended up on the RPF's RPF. I think maybe twice or three times? I can't remember. Those were the good ol' days.

I got to clean rats alley every day. That is a place under the galley in the PAC building (the big blue one on Sunset/Fountain, etc in Hollywood). It is about 5 feet high, so you have to bend over to walk through it. It is huge. At that time, it was flooded with who knows what nastiness and so me and a couple others were down there cleaning/killing roaches. The walls were just covered in roaches. I finally figured out I could spray them with a hose with bleach pouring onto the spray and I would not have to get too close to them.

We also had to pound the solid concrete floor inside where the current CLO is (behind AOLA) for hours. That was where the old hospital used to do testing on animals and they put them on these concrete blocks in cages so they could turn on a shower to clean them all. That was so tiring.

And we had to dig out all the dirt for the parking lot across from the HGB to build the transformer building. I almost permanently damaged my back doing that. I was shovelling dirt all day long and the next day I could barely breath. My in charge checked out my back and told me it was all purple and swollen on one side. So I went to a Scn doctor and they told me that I ripped all the muscles in my back and dislocated two ribs! (I was 16 I think). I wonder if I had gone to a WOG doctor, what would they have thought of all that?

EDITED/ADDED: I just remembered while I was on the RPF's RPF, so was Sue Bolstadt. She was sent there for falsifying worksheets while on the RPF. I had to watch her all the time. She is a nice person when she is being herself and not acting all "ethics presence"-like. We had to go into the miles and miles of ducts above the galley and scrape off all of the grease. The ducts are so huge in many places you can walk standing up. Took us a long time to clean them out! So sad with Sue, she was really upset about what she had done (falsiying the worksheets) and she would take all these long laps on her study time. Because she was under watch, I would take them with her. It was fun, but I did not see her getting any therapy out of it. At that time, we were allowed to run around the base itself (PAC) and so we would spend like 2 1/2 hours running around the whole block. Good exercise. And later, after she was done, but I was still on RPF's RPF, and now I was under watch for some reason, can't remember why, I decided to take some laps too (but now we had to do them in the tunnel in the basement only). And so I ran and I ran and I ran. The person watching me could not keep up. so they tried to just catch me when I went by. But I was so sweaty they couldn't get a grip on me. Was funny at the time!

Oh - by then I was done with HIgh School. Right before I ended up on the RPF I did a test and passed and while I was on the RPF, I got my diploma. My grandparents sent me money in congratulations and all I could use it for was shampoo and stuff, cause I didnt have any money really for anything.

And so, we were doing lots and lots of building - mainly CCI. I helped on all the floors except the 7th and basement. Nice place. I even got really good at renovations.

I remember one time I had to walk from the HGB to PAC (About 3 miles, for those unfamiliar with LA area) in my black boiler suit and heavy boots. I must have looked so weird! I was only like 16 and I went with a couple others too. We must have scared people. But I was good at lip reading and I saw this guy say "watch this" to his friend. He came up to me and asked me if I was a Scientologist. I told him "yes" and his friend looked at him incrediously and said "how did you know?" And he told his friend, "Oh, ALL Scientologists wear black!". I remember laughing this off.

And so it went, got through all the auditing with my twin (got her to answer some auditing commands between "I wanna be declared" from her). And our folders were onlines for graduation. They came back saying that I had a long history of out ethics and it was not addressed and handled.

Right about then, I think Sept 91 (?), that article came out, in Time magazine I guess? And COB gave an amnesty to everyone. I later found out the church almost folded at that time. They almost lost everything and they had to do this to get out of it.

We were given the option to stay and complete the program or get the heck out and back in the Sea Org ranks. Anything to get out of that nasty boiler suit. So I did not get my ethics in and my twin did not get declared, her only wish.
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Part V

1991 - 1996

So then I got posted shortly after that. I had to get trained rapidly to become a supervisor, so I did MCSC (Mini Course Sup Course) in a couple of days and then started to supervise the staff. That went on for many years. Except that I was also responsible for all other Qual functions for staff too. So it was hard to be a sup all day and still care for the staff, getting them in session and so forth. At first I tried really hard to do it all, then decided screw it. There was just no way.

I was supposed to be at a meeting every week and I never made it and my senior told me that if I did not show up, I would get declared. So what was I supposed to do? Not sup and get declared or sup and get declared for not being at the meeting? I ended up walking out of the courseroom and going to the stupid meeting. No sup for 45 mins or so while I went to this dumb meeting.

And my senior told me that I was killing the staff (literally) by neglect. One staff member died of cancer, which really affected me. I tried hard to do it all but it was really not feasible.

Also we had a mission in the org at one time and everyone had to get through some study stuff. Everyone had different schedules, so I had to have my courseroom open 24 hours a day for about a week. I was getting yelled at constantly, even while I was suping, which was distracting to the students. Every time a student did not show up, I was expected to get them, even though I was suping 50 plus other students. I hated that.

Right around this time I squeezed in my auditor and C/S training and became a Grad V C/S. I was still suping pretty much all the time, with my senior constantly on my ass about what a piece of useless junk I was and how I was killing the staff.

Somewhere in that same time period, two of the staff members went Type III (Insane) and had to be cared for constantly. They put together a seperate team to care for them. But I had to help on that to some degree too. I felt so bad for them. One of them was a BIG problem because he was violent, couldnt sleep and refused to eat. We tried in many ways to give him sedatives but he refused them. We finally put it in gel form and put in peanut butter sandwich and he ate it and then he figured out what we did and he went nuts all over again. Poor guy.

And sometime at one point I got a sup to help me. But he was kinda out there and didnt last long. After he sent a love letter to the Dir I & R (another male) saying he wanted to put LSD on paper to make him unqualled for the Sea Org so they could go out and be together, they kicked my sup out of the org. So then again I was stuck suping the courseroom.

Meanwhile, I met another guy in the org and we were going out. Then he wanted to break up cause he didnt want to stay in the Sea Org, but wanted to leave. Somehow we decided to get married anyways (just for sex, because no sex without marriage in there), and we were going to get divorced when he was leaving.

Soon after we got married, I ended up pregnant, because I did not know much about birth control. So we were trying to figure out if we should keep it or not. At that time, we would have been shipped to a Class V Org, not routed out. So we figured we could go. But then somehow decided not to do this. We did not have money for abortion, so I called my grandmother, who was not a Scientologist and lied to her and asked her for money, which she sent me. (Later she found out what it was used for, and was not happy about it at all). And so we went ahead with the abortion. While in the Sea Org, you are really made to think that these things are what you want. Was it? NO WAY IN HELL!!! I could have a 13 year old by now, but I have none. :mad:

This I think was the point that really affected me the most as far as the Sea Org was concerned. Abortion is no light matter. It is murder. When I did it, it did not feel that way to me. But within a couple of days, I regretted it so much. I don't know how my husband felt about it, we did not talk too much about it.

Anyways, we decided to stay together. For a while. But it was a constant back and forth battle with him: he wanted to stay married, no, get a divorce, no I was right for him so he was staying. A constant problem for me. And I put up with it for many years.

Soon after all this, I was doing more and more C/Sing and was not suping much anymore. I guess they found someone else to do that. I don't recall.

Then someone went into an org in Portland and shot 5 staff (one of them being a Sea Org member from Flag) and tried to burn down the building. So they needed people to get up there and get things under control. THey sent like 25 different people up there. Some were missions, some were to work on assists and things. So I got shipped up there and we were doing 24 hour care on those injured.

(Funny thing is that all the people who were shot and injured were staff - no public. I think that the org was void of public at that time - shows you that the orgs really are empty).

Sad thing was one of the people shot was 5 months pregnant and the bullet severed her spine and paralyzed her from the hips down. She was able to keep the baby and gave birth later. Unfortunately when she was shot, the babys brain stopped growing and when she was born she only had a brain stem. She lived about a year before passing away. The doctors said she would only live a few hours. So sad. She was a really nice person.

Meanwhile, the guy who did this was caught at the time and given a court case. He was considered mentally insane and was put in an institution I think (or deported - I can't remember to where - Africa or something I think). The problem with this person was known about for months too. He had threatened the org and San Francisco org on a number of occasions and weapons were found in his house and confiscated at least once. But someone lost track of him until he showed up in the org. :yikes:

More later.
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