Saturday, 22 December 2012
Alanzo's Story PDF Print E-mail
Even though I was losing friends left and right, the rest of my life was going much, much better.

When my life repair was almost over, George brought me into his office and told me about a brand new rundown that had just been released - the False Purpose Rundown. He had been trained to deliver it, and he had a special package he wanted me to know about: 2 intensives of the FPRD and a Purification Rundown for $5,000.

This was way more money than I had ever been asked to pay. The Peoria Mission, in those days, was selling Life Repair auditing for $200 per intensive. "Life Repair" delivered by two Class 8's was basically programming the new pc for ANYTHING he needed, whether it was "intro demo and assist auditing" or not.

But this, 5,000 bucks, we were talking some money here. I had no way to get that kind of money.

"Well', George said, "How about your parents?"

"No way. I know I've gotten them interested, but...no way."

"Well, what if you told them about all the drugs you've done? And how the Purification Rundown was going to clean you out from that and help you to start new?"

"WHAT!!??!! Tell them about all the drugs I've done??? Are you crazy???"

George leaned back in his chair, half closed his eyes and his smiled wide. He laughed real big and said, "It's not crazzzzy, Alanzo, it's the ethical thing to do!"

I thought about it. I am a graduate of the Intro to Scientology Ethics Course now. It was the ethical thing to do.

So I sat my parents down at the dining room table, these two people who had grown up in the 20's and 30's in ultra-conservative Alabama and Tennessee, and with as much gory detail as I could bare, I listed off the drugs that I had taken in my partying career:

"Cocaine, LSD, Psilocybin Mushrooms, Marijuana...pounds of marijuana...MDA, Mescaline, Angel Dust, Amphetimines, Valium, etc. etc."

They were both white with horror.

"But there's something I can do. Scientology has a way to clean me out from all that. It's called the Purification Rundown. This, along with this great new auditing thing called the False Purpose Rundown, is only $5,000."

It worked. They bought it. And the next day I went into the Peoria Mission with a $5,000 check from my dad.

George, Andy, and his wife Cyndi, literally JUMPED for joy when I handed it to them. They danced around in a circle and laughed. It caused an instant festival right there in the hallway.

"Wow." I thought. "I've really helped these people. They seem very happy with me."

I started on the Purif the next day.

And within two weeks I had signed a 5 year contract with the Peoria Mission. This also made everyone happy with me. And since I had already begun my money handlings and other handlings there, I could start on staff in Peoria and get right on to my staff statuses and be an expeditor. And when I was done with that, they would send me out to Los Angeles for training to Class 6 auditor!

But first I hd to go back and tell Connie that even though I had signed a contract in Champaign, I was actually going to go on staff in Peoria. When Cyndi was regging me for staff in Peoria, I told her that I had reservations about signing another contract when I had already signed one with Connie. She said that the Champaign Mission has only one auditor, and he's just a Class 4. Here, I would get all my auditing that I just bought and also be able to work on staff! And really, when you think about it, Alanzo, it's the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics.

I went back to the Champaign mission and told Connie what I had done. She started crying. She had tried for years to get another staff member, and thought that I was going to be the next one. She and her husband wanted to move to LA, and she was going to need someone to replace her as Mission Holder. She thought it would be me.

"It's the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics, Connie", I said.

She cried even louder.

There was a strange thing about the Peoria Mission.

Here they were in a 6,000 square foot building on Main Street in Peoria, IL, with 2 Class 8 C/Ses and a Class 6 (Andy's wife was a Class 6 auditor), and they were only open Monday thru Friday nights from 7 to 10pm.

Sometimes Andy or George would schedule an auditing session for a pc on a Saturday.

There was one other staff member on contract, Tim Crowley. He was the PES. He came in Monday thru Friday nights. Usually he would come in and then leave to go "pass out promo". Then he'd come back at 10pm and go home.

Very rarely was anyone on course but me. Sometimes Tim's brother Brian would be on course, and Augie, a sweet old black lady who had been in Scientology since the 1970's and who sometimes worked as word clearer.

But that was it.

Now, this mission had been in Peoria, continuously operating, since 1954.

While I was doing my staff statuses, I couldn't help but notice that this was not the ideal scene (even though I didn't really know what an ideal scene was at the time).

I began to believe that these people really needed my help. I was a secret genius after all. And Scientology was my destiny. And we would Clear the Planet. And so there was just no way anything was going to happen except that I was going to BOOM THIS MISSION.

I had read Keeping Scientology Working. I knew that the only reason for downstats was SPs and out tech. But whenever I went into George's office SURE that I had found the NEXT BIG THING that would BOOM the mission, I would leave more confused than ever. It seemed like things were more complicated than I had realized.

There was something here, and I was going to find it. And after I did, then this place was not only going to BOOM, it was going to become an org! Maybe even the first SEA ORG Org in Illinois!!!

But first I had to get through Staff Status Zero....

When I finished my Staff Statuses, it was time for me to go to LA for my training. I had been to Cairo, Athens, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, even New York City (well, to the airport, at least). But this was LA. This was big. I was excited.

It was a simple plan. I would drive the Dianetics Mobile from Central Illinois to Los Angeles, train up to Class 6 Auditor, and come back. We figured it should take about 6 to 8 months, a year maybe if something went horribly wrong. But nothing would go wrong because I'm a thetan and I can make anything go right.

I took off sometime in 1985, traveling down through New Mexico and Arizona, and into the Southern Californian desert. After three days of traveling, I figured I was getting close when I began to see the orange/purple/brown haze up in the tops of the mountains in the western sky. I had been calling in my coordinates to the Advanced Registrar all along the trip. She was "product officering" me to arrive into the org on time the whole way. Ken Shapiro was the PES of ASHO Day, and he was getting updates from her as he was the thetan over the area. I was really under pressure to arrive. I wanted to do good. I felt part of an OT team that was going to get me trained to Class 6, and fired back to Peoria to boom my mission!

The last day I drove 13 hours straight, and then headed into heavy Friday night Hollywood traffic at the end of that. That was something big to confront for a boy from the cornfields. But I handled it and drove straight to ASHO, totally exhausted. I lumped into a chair in front of Ken Shapiro's desk at 10pm that night.

"WELCOME TO ASHO, ALANZO!" Ken said in his booming, "big being" voice. It took until 10pm to 1am for them to route me through as an arrival. Then, I was finally told to go to the Manor Hotel where I would be staying as part of my work-study program. By 2:30 am, I was taken into a dark room on the 7th floor with sleeping people filling all but 2 holes in three bunk beds. I had been driving since 6am that morning.

I awoke the next morning and looked around the room. Everyone was gone except one other guy. He was turned over asleep against the wall. I heard him walk in after me and collapse into the last hole.

I was in LA! I was in the Manor Hotel, which the Church PR had informed me was the hotel of Bogey and Bacall, and Erroll Flynn and all the rest.

I ruffled through my my duffel bag to find my cigarettes and toothbrush.

When I looked up, the last guy in was glaring at me from his bunk.



"You fucking better be. What's your name?"


"Don't you fucking ever wake me up again, do you hear me?"

I had started to whimper inside a little, because I had never been talked to like that before by anybody, especially not another Scientologist. George and Andy would never raise their voice or even not smile, no matter what you did. This was actually very low-toned communication, I thought. And not very good TR1, either. And who was this guy, anyway?


"Yeah. Sorry"

I walked out the door.

I looked down the hall of the 7th floor of the Manor Hotel, and out the window. There seemed to be a door to access the roof there.

I opened it, and walked out on to a roof overlooking the 101 Freeway with all the rest of Hollywood beneath me.

The morning sun was burning through smog. A grimey dew gathered in splotches in the shaded portions of the roof. There were palm trees and honking horns on Franklin and apartment buildings across the street. I turned around and looked north and there, big as life, was the Hollywood sign, splayed out across the hills of Griffith Park before me. The smells were different here. The light, the dusty palm trees, everything about it was different. I picked my nose and even my boogers seemed different. Kind of greasier in a way. Maybe it was from the smog.

I lit a cigarette and congratulated myself.

I made it.

It was a bright blue Saturday morning in Hollywood.

Last night, after the Day org had routed me in, I was sent to then route into the Foundation Org, as well. That's why it took me over 3 hrs just to route in.

I haven't looked at the Dev-T inherent in having 2 organizations in one building, but when you are a student and you have to do the same thing twice, that's built-in dev-T, isn’t it? I didn't see it as Dev-T, though, because Scientology was the most efficient and enlightened group of beings on the planet. They even created the word for Dev-T, so how could they ever be Dev-T?

I was supposed to route onto course the very next morning at ASHO, so I quickly ate a couple donuts and poured a coffee down my shirt at the 76 Station on Franklin, just before the entrance to the 101 freeway.

I made it through LA traffic to the complex on Sunset Blvd and parked in the parking lot. I couldn't believe all the cars in the parking lot! Most had those S and Double Triangle Scientology symbols on the back. Coming from Peoria, my eyes bugged out. Man! This must be the most sane place on Earth!

As I walked to the sidewalk on what is now called LRH Way, a guy stopped me and handed me a flier for a movie. I took it. He was a staff member from LA Org, his name was Chris Browne.. Wow. I thought, LA Foundation. This guy knows what he's doing.

He asked me to come inside and look at the org. "Wow. Sure, yeah!"

I told him that I was on work-study at ASHO Day, here to train up to Class 6. I puffed out my chest a little as I said it, too. He seemed very impressed, almost worshipful. He took me into the Reg area, and introduced me to an Israeli Reg there.

I was already impressed but now, this was amazing! I had just returned from living in Israel a couple of years before, and I knew a little Hebrew. And here was an Israeli Scientologist! Wow!

He asked me what course I was routing on to. I told him Pro TRs. He asked how I was going to pay for it and I told him my mission had training awards at ASHO. He told me that my mission had training awards here at LA Foundation, too. He said he knew Andy and George and we talked about how great they were. Chris and this Reg both seemed to really like me, and Andy and George, too, and they were impressed that I was a staff member at their mission and I was here to train to Class 6 Auditor.

He told me that he could get me a better deal at LA Day than ASHO could give me because of the difference in price between the two orgs. And that would be good for the mission - that way they wouldn't have to spend so much money to train me.

"I don't know. I think we'd better talk to Andy." I said.

The Israeli reg said that he talks to Andy all the time, they were great friends and that I should just route in, and he would call Andy this morning and let him know. He was sure that it would be okay. "Just route in now and I'll call him before lunch."

If it was going to save my mission money, I thought that this would definitely be a good thing. "But what about Ken Shapiro? He's waiting for me."

"That's all right, I know Ken. He's a good friend of mine. I'll let him know what's happening."

"All right", I said. And they whisked me into the course room, a little before 10 a.m.

The LA Foundation course room this Saturday morning was almost full. These guys had routing forms and word clearers and sups and everything. Look! All students have their stat graph on the wall! Now THIS is how you're supposed to run an org! I thought.

They announced me as a new student. Everyone clapped and welcomed me. I took my new course pack (which had been debited off of our mission bookstore account), went over to the dictionary shelf, picked one out, and sat down.

I was so excited. I was on course in LA! These were the trained professionals. These were the people who knew what they were doing, who I would learn from and emulate. I would bring back everything they taught me and boom my mission. This was great.

By noon, the sup called "That's it" and we all went to lunch. As I walked out the door with the crowd of other students, one was just introducing himself to me as an arm lurched me to the side and a voice boomed at me angrily "MR. ALANZO!"

It was Ken Shapiro. "WHAT do you think you are doing routing into LA DAY'S COURSE ROOM????"

"Well, the Reg said he would tell you. Didn't he tell you?"


He's pulling me out the door now. I recognized it as Tone 40 from my Upper Indoc TRs on my HQS course. Cool. I'm being tone 40ed. For real, even. Wow.

"They said they would save my mission money, and that it was a better deal for us."

"A DEAL??? YOU CAME TO LA TO SHOP FOR A DEAL??? NO! You did not come to LA to shop for a deal for your mission. You came to LA to train up to Class 6 auditor AT ASHO DAY!!!"

"We gotta talk to Andy." Now I was getting a little miffed. Why shouldn't I try to get the best deal for my mission? It's the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics that my mission saves as much money as it can. We'll be needing to send other students out here, and the more money we had for them on account - the better.

"Oh, WE'LL BE TALKING TO ANDY" Ken said, as he continued his Tone 40 of me down the street.

We climbed the steps at ASHO and walked into the reception area. All the staff were glaring at me. The receptionist glared at me, the ASHO Foundation sup (Dick Orchirch) who we got out of bed last night to route me in glared at me as he walked past us. "Alanzo! You were supposed to be at roll call this morning!"

"We're handling Mr. Alanzo on this right now!" Everyone was staring at me, and they looked mad. Ken shoved me down in the chair in his office and shut his door. He picked up the phone and called Andy.

"Alanzo?? What are you doing?" Andy said over Ken's speakerphone.

"They said I could save probably 20% at LA Foundation, Andy. We have the training awards there, too, right?"

Andy busted out laughing and then checked himself. "Alanzo, you just need to route onto course AT ASHO. This is not okay. We had agreements with ASHO that you would train there and you can't go against those." Ken, arms crossed, was still glaring at me.

"And so we're going to spend 20% more??"


"All right." I said. This was the second time I've been yelled at today. Jeez. This is not starting out very well.

Ken had been keeping a mean look on his face the whole time. There he was, the first real Sea Org member I had ever really met, and I had pissed him off on my first cycle with him. I wanted to impress him, not have him glaring at me like this.

He physically took me to the cafeteria at Lebanon Hall to get eat lunch. He said that he was not letting me out of his sight. The other ASHO Day Sea Org members there who I recognized from last night all were still glaring at me. Some would smile as they looked away. I got the feeling that these guys had been talking about me or something. They seemed to all know what's going on. I felt kind of famous, but for all the wrong reasons.

After lunch, Ken Tone 40ed me back to the course room and Dick Orchirch was there to route me in. As I stood there, a tall thin guy, balding on top, with a dark brown mustache and eyes that pierced right through you, walked in and right up to me. "So this is the infamous Mr. Alanzo from Peoria!" He wasn't smiling.

DickO said, "Yep. Mr. Alanzo, meet Bill Skrivars, your practical supervisor." I was really scared of this guy. He really seemed to mean business, like a drill sergeant.

I sat down in the theory course room, this time my face red and very very flustered. The atmosphere here was much more intense than at LA Foundation. There, they all seemed to love me and be so impressed with whatever I said or did. Here, I'm what I would later know to refer to as "ethics bait."

As I sat in the theory course room, every once in a while I would look through the glass window that separated practical and theory and see Bill Skrivars glaring at me. They were watching me like a hawk.

"Jeez. I better not yawn. " I thought.

I fell into my new schedule and "made it go right".

Dick-O, the theory supervisor, would do my star-rate checkouts on Student Hat. He would always find TONS of misunderstood words on me and send me back to re-study. He told me once that students were not born, they were MADE, and he was having a hard time making me into a student. It was frikking pink sheet after pink sheet with this guy. But I came to love him nonetheless.

I can still remember some of the names for roll call. There were probably around 100 students on course at that time. We would all stand in a circle in the hallway, chatting in the morning or after lunch. Dick-O would stand in the center of the hallway, at the top of the circle, chatting and watching the clock.

At exactly the top of the hour, he would yell, "That's it - Roll Call!!" Everyone went silent, glancing at each other, smiling.

"Ricardo Ainsley"


"Mo Budlong!"


"Bill Keister!"


"Melanie Murray"


"Bill Tobin"


"Cindy Tobin"


"Letty Smith!"



I don't remember if it was because I was taking too long on Student Hat, or what, but I was put on Pro TRs and Student Hat simultaneously. I thought this was highly irregular, but it was what I was told to do. So I did it.

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