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Saturday, 22 December 2012
My getting out story Takin Time PDF Print E-mail

When I made up my mind to leave, but had not told anyone yet, I had several people (good friends, even) call me to ask me if I was still connected to so-and-so (who hadn't yet gotten declared). Since I wouldn't attest to disconnecting to so-and-so, I became a pariah. So much for friends! And these were "GOOD friends", too.

Well, the disconnection policies of the church and the huge level of gossip in the CofS field were evident right then.

So I was already abandoned by my "good friends" because I wouldn't own up to disconnecting to so-and-so.

I realized that leaving the CofS meant leaving everyone behind: jobs, co-workers, associates, clients, friends, local venders, everyone. I just pretended I'd moved to another town/state/country and started to make new friends.
I don't care what gossip the CofS is spreading about me because no one left IN the CofS is now my friend.
I've since found out that the gossip doesn't spread everywhere. Not everyone I know in the CofS has heard news of me. And I've lost my fears that they will find out. If I lose contact with Associate X, then so what... I'll find another to take their place.
As for going around in a daze? Yup. Did that, too. Am "ending cycle" on everything Scientology.
About the decision... I made my decision several months ago. As I read and read and read, it was like I would again decided to leave the CofS. That seemed odd to me because I had already decided that. I finally figgered it was probably just levels of certainty about my decision, rather than a re-deciding. I was being validated over and over and over again that my original decision (to leave the CofS) was correct.
I was yackin' with someone about a month ago after having told him about the CofS being a cult (he was not a scientologist) and I recall asking him "So what do people DO when they come home from work?" Having been so indoctrinated to work, work, work without rest, I was at a loss to figure out some other activity to engage in. I knew I'd figure it out sooner or later and wasn't worried. But that could be similar to the "empty feeling" you expressed.
Everyone in my family was very happy when I told them. They were so sweet and never pressured me to get out or expressed much about Scn at all. But when I told them I had left... wow! They were so happy and had awaited this day for a long time.
Ex-Scientologist. Now takin' time to smell the roses.
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