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Saturday, 22 December 2012
25 Years of Scn - TWIN A PDF Print E-mail
Personal Stories - Sea Org
 
Chapter 11
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I have realized while writing this WHY I have wanted to spend time writing in the first place. I think up details about my experiences and in doing so, I can see what good I got out of it and I can see the bad I can warn others about. I'm hoping that anyone reading this learns things from whatever I write that makes their lives just a little bit better.
 
I watched a cartoon when I was about 8 or 9. There was this character walking along a road. He fell into a hole in the ground that had been disguised as part of the road. He was angry. He got out and kept walking. Another character came along and he too, fell into the hole. He pulled himself out of the hole and he decided to hide behind a rock and watch other unsuspecting "idiots" fall into the hole too. Then he would point and laugh at them. Another character walked into this same hole, but when he got out of the hole, he went and got a big sign saying "watch out, hole in the ground" and put an arrow pointing to the hole to prevent others from falling in. Another character wasn't looking, he was reading his paper, and he didn't see the sign and he fell into the hole anyway. He pulled himself out, saw that there was a sign he missed and said, "Oh" and he kept walking. Another character accidentally fell into the hole despite the sign and he got out of the hole, brushed himself off and decided that he would get a shovel and fill in the hole! So he filled in the hole. He took away the sign and then walked away. No more problems. For anyone. There was no longer a hole in the road.
 
Currently, Scientology is a big HOLE IN THE ROAD. And those of us who fell into it and are taking action to warn others and to fill in the hole are demonstrating the good characters. Everyone who posts on this sight, on OCMB, etc. are awesome. Even people who simply read and don't post, because they are probably getting themselves out of the hole by doing so, or avoiding it, and some day they will be able to help others get out of the hole,avoid it, and help eventually to fill it in so no one can fall into it again

Back around 1996, which I haven't gotten to yet (it's juicy) --- this is kind of a sneak preview of, I went nuts. I had a breakdown and went "Type 3" or whatever the heck you want to call it. I was CSd for THREE Introspection Rundowns!!! In order to recover, I did many things. The first was to assume (as all good Scientologists are taught to do) that my personal failures were because of "OUT TECH" and "OUT ADMIN" and "OUT ETHICS" towards ME -- I had to stop blaming myself. The second step was to "be a good SO Member" and confront those concerned about the "out-ethics", "out-admin", "out-tech" and/or write "knoweldge reports" about it all-- I had to stick up for myself, be my own hero. The third thing I did was realize that doing the second step was useless and I had to try something else, the fourth thing I did was to determine that I went nuts because Scientology and LRH were complete crap! I said F___ LRH !and F____ SCIENTOLOGY! and I screamed it at the top of my lungs.
 
The fifth thing was to learn to love and respect my own non-Scientology family and friends and to learn and re-learn a good value system (things like honesty) from them, the sixth thing was to get reconnected to actual society --- I did this by finding a job with regular non-Scientologists and associating with them, by going back to college and working on my education, I spoke to Ex SO Members I felt I could trust (Thank You, you know who you are) , I spoke to some journalists that I felt I could trust, I studied the internet and books not by LRH. The seventh thing was to prove the schizo/paranoid bullshit generality from LRH about how "ALL psychiatrists were evil" WRONG and I met some good psychiatrists and psychologists. I went to see one of the psychologists for a while and she helped me greatly.
 
The eighth thing was I decided to review my experiences and change what I did in step four because I was stable enough to do so. I was ready to face the confusion The ninth thing was to determine that not ALL Scientology was crap and that some of what I went through and learned is worth keeping and knowing. The tenth thing is that I have been determining what EXACTLY in my experiences and studies as a Scientologist rubbed me the wrong way and I've been using my new college education and faith in my family and pre-Scientology experiences --and even some of my Scientology exeriences, to denounce those things specifically.
 
I basically kind of established some bins of information and experience: One bin for "improves sanity, beneficial to life" and another bin for "harms sanity, crazy shit" and "funny as hell, still dont' know what to think about it" and "traumatic, upsetting, but maybe I needed to take the medicine, probably good for sanity" Stuff like that. Two bins to start with would be OK, but making a bunch more bins is fun too. I'm in charge of my own sanity and soundness of mind. If someone tried to convince me that "All Lawyers are bad", I can say (no matter how important the person saying it is), "That's illogical, it's "poisoning the well". You don't know ALL lawyers for one and secondly I know some good lawyers. I disagree with you." I don't have to say , "OH OK" and then forever have this strange sense of fear around lawyers.
 
So bascially what I did was denounce the crap generally and then I went back and got more focused so as not to waste everything. I recommend that approach to anyone. You don't have to wrap your wits around everything at first. You can just get on a soapbox and scream LRH LIED, SCIENTOLOGY IS A SCAM! or "DM is a SUPER JACKASS, F____ HIM and his stooges!" and you will feel better. But take an additional step and dig in and say well what exactly? Am I mad about Locationals? NO, am I mad about TAKE A WALK? No. Am I mad about using in-baskets? No,.Am I mad about reporting my statistics Thursday before 2? Yes!!! Something was up with that. Am I mad about only 30 bucks to 50 bucks a week in the Sea Organization? YES!!! Am I mad about the e-meter? Well not entirely, that would have to get broken down into specifics too.
 
Am I mad about labelling ANYONE closely connected to someone in disagreement with anything about Scientology a Potential Trouble Source? YES. Am I mad about the re-sign line policies? YES. Why send someone to ethics and punish the staff with lost stats if a public person does not re-sign? Am I mad about the donation structure? YES, it's like it's a business in the disguise of a religion. Am I mad about referring to non-Scientologists with the deragatory term of "wog"? YES. Let's knock that off.
 
Am I mad about never having the RIGHT to disagree with LRH? YES. Double YES. I should have been able to circle anything in any of my books with 'bullshit' and not have some supervisor come over and tell me I had "misunderstoods" or I needed to "do more clay demos" or I needed to "go to ethics". Damn it, some of what LRH said was bullshit! Come on Get real.
 
Scientology is a cult. Currently there is nothing untrue about that statement, but this does not have to be a permanent state of affairs. If members of the Church of Scientology actually want to change their status and shirk this cult label, all they have to do is CHANGE. What exactly to they need to CHANGE? Church of Spiritual Technology Center, Religious Technology Center and ALL the Scientology related organizations and the Sea Organization and the IAS and other membership groups
 
ALL need to just say this : WE NO LONGER WILL DECLARE "SUPPRESSIVE" MEMBERS WHO BLOW, LEAVE, DECIDE NOT TO BE MEMBERS AND/OR WHO TALK HONESTLY IN PUBLIC OR TO JOURNALISTS. ALL MEMBERS HAVE A RIGHT TO COME AND GO AS THEY CHOSE AND THEY ALL HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH. WE WILL NO LONGER HARASS CRITICS, WE WILL LISTEN TO THEM AND USE DEBATE AND DISCUSSION TO RESOLVE OUR DISAGREEMENTS. WE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT LRH WAS NOT RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING, THAT HE MADE MISTAKES, THAT WE AS MEMBERS HAVE A RIGHT TO FIX THOSE MISTAKES, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ROBOTS.
 
This would be a start. Until then, "Scientology" is a CULT damn it and that makes it a big hole in the ground for planet earth.
 
The Oneida silverware company started out as a sex-cult in Victorian times. The founder and members considered it a valid Christian Church group. The Founder had his own interpretations of the bible and they all wanted to live it. They went through a period of extremely strange behavior sexually as a group and they used harassment and peer pressure and other cult techniques. Eventually one of the kids of the founder, his daughter got out. And she wrote an expose memoir, including stories about incest --- which was part of the "religion". The outside community were outraged. In order to survive, Oneida had to CHANGE. A BOARD was put together and they decided to STOP the unusual sexual practises and they decided that they would no longer remain a "religious group". They incorporated as a silveware company and they preserved their teachings and beliefs with regards to perfectionism. They kept their main house for historical reasons, for tours, and for administrating the new business. They make some really great silverware.
 
Scientology should learn from that example. What in Scientology can be preserved? Can it stay a "religion"? Or should it become a self-improvement business? What makes it a cult that the society is protesting that it should just plain STOP? It should STOP those thing immediately and inform society as a whole that they have truly done so. Should they denounce their own Founder's inappropriate actions and behavior too? Absolutely, and they should revise his biography too.
 
 
- Twin A
 

 



 
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